Johnnys Randoms

All Apologies

2007-01-29T05:08:00.000-08:00

Well folks....It has been a slice.

Along with other old habits, this blog has finished serving its purpose to me as well. I may write again some day, but for now you will have to look elsewhere for poorly written random gibberish.

For me, this blog was a creative and emotional outlet if you will. I know they say highschool is suppose to be the most difficult time in a persons life. Well, I beg to differ. I managed to make the last two years of my life the most difficult. I can say with certainty they contained the best moments, but also the worst I have ever gone through.

I told half the story in a previous post, and was going to tell the other half prior to me leaving. I think I have done the right thing by actually telling the person, instead of telling the internet. Ha.

There is a reason for all of this I am sure. For now it is obvious I have made so many grave mistakes. Mistakes I didn't think I was capable of. In doing so I began to dislike who I was as a person. I guess the purpose of all this was to learn. I think I have learned more about myself, and people in general, in the last two years then I managed to figure out in the 24 previous ones.

I also now know the feeling of loss once again. It had been quite sometime since I even put myself in a position to do so. This time it was too late. In a sad and almost funny way I was afraid this was going to happen.

It has become apparent that I do not plan my future for myself. I think of the person in it, and plan to suit their needs. I can sustain life off lucky charms and Mr.Noodles and not really be bothered by it. I do not have a future planned anymore. I have no idea where I will end up, or what I will be doing. I guess this is a good thing as I now get to create whatever I want. I believe this new bar will get the majority of my attention and energy in the days to come. Look for a lounge in the Main and Locke area that may or may not be called "Bar in the Back".

My prediction of my future? I get lost in my business life so deeply that I become unplugged from the parts of my life that ail me. In doing so I will become whom ever I am suppose to become. It will be that guy who is found by the right person for me, and I will spend the rest of my days living for them.

So with all my stories finished, and my life going down a new road I think it is probably best to shut this thing down. The past is the past as they say.

What happens next I can not tell...Whatever it is it will be with everything I have.

Thanks for reading, hope you got something out of it.

Wish you all the luck,

Just John.

Inspiration

2007-01-23T11:46:00.001-08:00

The "coach" of our hockey team sends out a mass email every week to serve are a reminder of where and when we play. It also acts as a forum to voice any concerns, injuries, etc. We are playing the worst team this week which is going to be a gong show. In celebration of this our coach added "this" to the email of the week...enjoy. I did.

I Love Lamp...

2007-01-22T18:05:00.000-08:00

I wanted to do something a bit different with my next post...It's a toast to the combination of film and sound. The two things that seem to inspire me the most, or I guess bring the most out of me. So, without further adieu I give you:

JohnnyMacs Top Ten Music Moments in Film

#10 The Matrix

matrix

Number ten is an odd ball because I tend to think of the Matrix trilogy as a whole. The first film changed the way people thought about sci-fi movies, and the way action sequences were shot. The real scene I was going to show was the lobby scene with the Propellerheads "Spybreak" going on in the background. That had to be one of the coolest action scenes ever produced in the history of film. Instead I found this cool montage that ties the other sequels in as well.

#9 My, Myself, and Irene

Jim Carey gets angry

This was definitely an underrated movie when it first came out. The scene Im showing is the transformation into "Hank". Jim Carey plays a schizophrenic person whos alter ego is a complete asshole...And this song made the movie for me.

#8 Office Space

office space- damn it feels good to be a gangsta

I think this movie is my #2 favorite comedy of all time. The song is "Damn it feels good to be a gangster" which manages to suit these ultra-white office dwellers who detest their daily surroundings beyond the average peon.

#7 Blade

Blade

Yes, Blade. Hahaha. Whatever, this scene blew me away when I first saw it. The track is f'ing awesome, and the blood shower was nuts. Its just one of those moments that makes you realize that we're all just a bunch of animals, and sometimes primal instincts are a very powerful thing. It was either this blade scene, or the Matrix scene in the cave..Both had the same effect.

#6 The Royal Tenenbaums

The Royal Tenenbaums -

This use to be my favorite music moment in film...but the idea has faded to me for the time being. Regardless, the look, and the feel of this moment is perfect. The way those two look at each other you'd swear they were really in love with one another. That combined with the slow motion and melodic guitar riff...Forget about it. Ha.

#5 Last of the Mohicans

The Last of the Mohicans

I COULD talk about this scene, but its better to just watch it. I am a huge fan of instrumental music as I always prefer to have my own thoughts driving the moment rather then someone else's words. This song allows just that. There was a different scene I wanted to show, but could not find it on YouTube. Its Daniel Day Lewis tearing across the battlefield, hacking and chopping his way to save his woman to the same song. The guy is so driven by passion that he looks like a f'ing mad man.

#4 The Royal Tenenbaums

Royal Tenenbaums

This is one of my favorite songs period....This scene is a reaction to #6 not working out so well. I don't know what it is, but Im definitely drawn to intense moments. I tried to come up with an explanation for this: I think Im A.D.D and it takes moments like this to consume my complete self? ahha.

The area of the top three really does not need my commentary. These are musical selections done by brilliant people to create and capture a moment that leaves a mark on your imagination...Or, at least mine.

#3 Fight Club

Fight Club End Scene

#2 Life Aquatic with Steve Zizzo

The Life Aquatic & Sigur Ros

And number one....This song has seen a lot of air time as of late with the release of an XBOX 360 game?? haha. Too funny. Anyways, this movie was not fully understood by a lot of people. The ending is amazing on so many levels. I still don't think I have gotten all that I was suppose out of it. The basic idea is the main character learns that to save the one girl he loves, he must die. He does this with a smile on his face....Enjoy.

#1 Donnie Darko

Donnie Darko ending

Well this is something new...

2007-01-17T18:56:00.000-08:00

Ok now....Operation "Get a Grip" is in full effect, but I am even surprising myself these days which is something I haven't done in a while.

First thing was to admit that my relationship with Laura was only harming both of us in the long run and that we couldn't even handle being friends. Mostly my fault. That thought had been around for a while, but I did not know how to let go of her. So we kissed each other goodbye, made the big splitarooni, and here I am.

Now, in my past I have always just gone with the flow. A girl comes around, and I end up dating her. Didn't really matter what the scenario, or situation was. I was just always with someone one way or the other. (Minus like a year long gap in there somewhere, this was not by choice ha, a drought is a drought) I have come to understand that this type of dating is detrimental to both people involved. I don't feel satisfied because I don't really even genuinely care about what Im doing, and the girl usually gets hurt because she does. This would be the case of Maria.

I use to think my brother was nuts for not dating girls more frequently(read gay where the word nuts is hahah jk). The guy is a lady killer but never does anything about it. I think I have picked up something from him as of late. He was ruined by a girl about 6 years ago and didn't really bother dating after that. He had one other serious relationship and she fucked him over too...Damn bitches ha. Hes had a fair share of girls, but I went through something similar many years ago and instead of backing off like he did to heal I dove head first in to the wild world of Bagina and never looked back. I think I now see his position on this, and maybe am I the retarded one? He probably sees all the pain and misery I go through with all my failed relationships and just shakes his head.

In the past I would have definitely dated Maria right now thinking maybe something could really come from this, but if I actually stopped to think about it I know nothing really would, but I would date her none the less because it would be something to do. I was always happier with someone, then without. 100% 180 on that idea, and is exactly why I have now blown this girl off twice now. I am not interested in dating someone with a half-assed effort. I would like something real, or nothing at all.

Isnt that lovely? I am learning and getting better at this relationship stuff!!!

Next is where I surprised myself....

I present to you Amanda:

This girl lives out in Montreal and has invited me down for a no-strings attached weekend of "fun".

I have declined the offer.

J-Mo I am sorry if you fell off your chair.

This is where any guy reading this should just stop because I am going to talk about real things and ideas. I am not ready to date someone. I most likely wont be ready for a long time. I have learned that I am happiest when I am being loved by someone with their entirety, and I wish to give that back to someone with just as much energy. There is no possible way I can do this right now as my thoughts and feelings are attached to my past. So, there is absolutely no point in dating just for the hell of it as it will only prolong me getting over what I have gone through the last two years. I have also adopted the idea that just sleeping with people to satisfy my wants is not productive either. I don't think I want to have this as my answer to: "So, what were past relationships like before me?" "Well, lets see, I banged about 5 or 6 random girls I didn't really care about!" hahaha.

I need to be on my own, recover from this mess I have created, learn who I am all over again, and then come back with my heart in my hand for someone to have.

Sounds terribly cheesy no?

Well, it is what I am choosing. It is similar to the old saying "if you do not have anything good to say, don't say anything at all". I cant possible give someone everything as it is not mine to give. Therefore, I will choose to be by myself until I have all of me back.

What will I be doing in the meantime?

Besides, learning what makes ME happy all over again I will be investing in my future once again by expending time, energy, and capital in the present. I think I am going to go into partnership with a friend of mine to open up our own BAR!!!!!!! There will be a post about this in the near future. For now I will just throw that out there. To achieve this I think I need to grow up once again...I cut out cigs and pot with little effort, so that was huge. But, I need to do other things besides that, like eating real food, and getting proper exercise. Walking around like a zombie does not put you in the right frame of mind to take control of the things you want out of life.

I know what its like to love someone like mad and not have them care about you.

I know what its like to have someone love you like mad and not care about them.

I know what its like to love someone like mad, and have them love you back, and not have it work.

I know what its like to love someone like mad, and have them love you like mad, but never each other at the same time.

I will now learn to be patient and work on myself so I am able to be ready for that person that it does work with.

Its funny not knowing who that person is going to be....Or if they even exist.

Some people live their whole life and never find what they are looking for.

Sorry for the gay mushy stuff...Just something I wanted to get off my chest.

And you thought THAT was dumb? Wait till you hear this!!

2007-01-14T14:26:00.000-08:00

This weekend was jam packed with silly stuff. The best I will save for last...so skip to the end is what I'm saying basically.

Friday night was a friends birthday and we ended up going bowling to celebrate, then off to the bar. My first game was not so great...67. Ha. The second one proved to be much better...114 or something. After the white Russians were downed we headed over to a bar we don't normally bother with. Good times had by all regardless.

Now we move to Saturday night which was pretty funny in itself. I went to a Wii party? A friend that lives in a cool condo downtown Toronto decided to do this. Her brother rented out the party room in the building, got a big projection screen, and hooked up the Wii for some late night gaming. I gotta say it was pretty damn fun. Booze helps....Booze and good company.

Filipino women are fun people to hang out with I might add...

This would be the host of the bash...As you can tell alcohol did fuel this night.

In the morning I drove myself back to the hammer in a slightly hazed out state. While I was driving I had a American Beauty moment. Does anyone remember the part where the main character films a plastic bag swirling in the wind by itself? Anyways, my parking ticket decided to start dancing in the defrost heat.

It was really calming for some reason...Not that I was stressed out, but any sort of aliment was alleviated watching that thing float on its own. Yes I should have been watching the road....I'm a multi-tasker no worries.

Now, for the moment you've all been waiting for:

I don't know if there is even a real name for this, but I am going to call this skater cross for all intensive purposes. I am sure everyone knows what boarder-cross is. Quick refresh: 8 people on snowboards line up for a race to the bottom of the hill on a course that includes jumps, burms, and other obstacles. Red Bull has an event going in Quebec where people do this on ice skates down a sloping city street glazed over with ice. This is right up there with my own personally invented sport of stair riding on the old barometer of stupidity.

I cant f'ing wait to do this....Its going to be an odd combination of boarder-cross meets the running of the bulls all whacked out on Red Bull.

Myself, and three of my friends are heading down to Toronto for the qualifying rounds being held on the 26th. If we qualify we are bused out, and put up in a hotel, by Red Bull to compete in this event.

This will pretty much be the most awesome thing I have ever done if I make it into the competition. Now, there's 100 people trying out in Toronto and they only take 5 people from each city. So, I have about a 5% chance of making it. But!!! The only bloody reason why I was ever any good at hockey was my speed. I can fly. So, I am hoping don't blow a gasket and actually make the cut.

We'll see what happens...

Pro what?

2007-01-11T16:07:00.000-08:00

Good morning boys and girls, today I’m going to talk to you about propinquity!!

What is propinquity you might ask? Well, I’m glad you asked...

In social psychology, propinquity (from Latin propinquitas, nearness) is one of the main factors leading to interpersonal attraction. It refers to the physical or psychological proximity between people. Two people living on the same floor of a building, for example, have a higher propinquity than those living on different floors. Propinquity can mean physical proximity, a kinship between people, or a similarity in nature between things.

Basically, your environment has a direct effect on you as a person. You become what surrounds you because you are drawn to form similarities with the people that are closest to you.

A prime example is the workplace. If you work with a bunch of divorced, alcoholic, abusive scum-buckets you might form a social bond with these people. It is not to say that you yourself will follow the same path, but that you might sympathize with them and almost come to accept this behavior as normal. In other examples that are less extreme you may completely adopt similar characteristics. If you work with a group of people who are sarcastic and witty, they will rub off on you. Your sense of humor might shift and may ultimately find yourself associated with this type of person on a regular basis.

The workplace is obviously the most generic example of large sums of time spent within a group of people you did not choose to be around. There are other situations where this concept is found: the gym, the bar scene, your neighborhood, pretty much anywhere you interact with people.

After kinships are formed due to proximity, the next logical step would be to find a romantic relationship. Often these are formed with people who share similar interests. When two people have a high propinquity with each other it is natural to develop romantic feelings for each other.

This would be the example of the propinquity effect: the tendency for people to form friendships or romantic relationships with those whom they encounter often. In other words, relationships tend to be formed between those who have a high propinquity.

Why in the Hell am I talking about this? I think this is something people over look in their lives because it is not really a great conversation piece. Although, I think it should be included in possible New Years resolutions. Examine the people who contribute to your life in a positive way, and those who do not.

There is a certain portion a person must take responsibility for to better themselves. This would be the vast majority of all things concerning ones self. However, one should acknowledge that outside factors contribute to your well being. So in order to improve on yourself and your life it only makes sense to try and surround yourself with good, honest, caring people if that is what you strive to be. Depending on what your goals are in life will depend on whom you should look to for companionship. It’s like playing tennis with someone that sucks goat balls. You will never get any better if you keep smoking them. If you find someone to play with that challenges you then of course your game will improve.

For the most part Id like to think my family and friends are good, decent folk. There is of course exceptions of liars, backstabbers, nutcases, and leeches.

The goal is to weed these people out who are beyond help, or who do not believe they need it.

There is another concept that I have not been able to find much on anywhere, reverse-propinquity: the acknowledgement of your own influences on others around you. If you can see that you are doing nothing but harm to someone, then one should take the responsibility to remove themselves from the situation to better the other person.

I am not sure of what my goals are, what my major weaknesses are, or what I need to work on to better myself.

For the first time in a long time I feel I am a perfectly clean canvas.

"Around and around she goes, where she stops? Nobody knows"

Dont think twice, its alright....

2007-01-09T16:41:00.000-08:00

Laura:

After my boss got canned, and I stepped into his shoes, we needed to back fill my position. My company was in charge of locating someone to help me out and I had no real choice as to who we got. They found Laura. At first I thought this girl hated me....She came off as a bit of a bitch to start with. But, I figured it was her just needing to get settled in where she was before she opened up.

After a few weeks we kinda figured out we were into the same things and she started to talk to me on a normal even keel. Not like I was her boss and she had to be nice to me, but we saw each other for who we really were. So that was great. I had someone that I could get along with to help me out here. Wonderful I thought. Then after a while of working together everday I stopped and thought to myself: Holyshit, This girl is cute as hell!!! She also dressed very sexy which drove me nuts day in and day out.

One day she asked if I liked this band Theory of a Dead Man. Of course I did not, but because she was asking I said yes, and before I knew it we were going to a concert together with one of her friends.

Nothing transpired that night, but I knew what was happening here...or at least what I wanted to have happen.

Another little bit went by and we ended up at another concert together...this time I did not drive home!!

It was the most comfortable I have ever been with someone in my life. It was like home in this girls bed with her wrapped around my body. That was it, after that we started dating. This was a relationship unlike any other Ive ever been in. When I looked into this girls eyes I could see her soul. I could feel what she felt just by looking at her. Never had a connection like this before in my life. She had this rough exterior front that I saw through completely to find this girl...this girl that was the funniest, most genuinue person I have ever met. This was a real girl. A real person. A woman you could say. There is a difference between girls and women. Girls play games and are selfish and childish. Women are different. They know how to communicate thier wants and are capable of being rational. So ya, I was happy as a clam with her.

We could not let anyone at work know because there was an unwritten policy that this type of thing was frowned upon. It was almost fun in a way to have our little glances with each other, or brush up against one another intentionally. However, it was also shitty because when you spend so much time pretending you are not dating it subconciously fucks you up I think. Also, spending every single second together is not completely healthy either. This opened up grounds for uncertanty and mis-communication. We also never talked about important stuff. Things just either were, or werent. One of the major downfalls in our relationship I suppose.

So things hit the skids a bit and we didnt really know where each of us stood...I think we were both just being big chickens.

During this phase I went down to Boston to see an old friend which changed everything.

Laura and I ended up breaking up, yet continued to work directly with each other. This was perhaps comparable with the worst kind of torture. No real point in explaining that part becuase it is just depressing. Lets just say that to see this girl upset was hell in itself. I couldnt take it for some reason. I would do anything to take pain away from her except for do exactly what she needed the most, for me to leave her alone. This went on for what seemed like eons until she finally got a new job.

We tried to date again "officially" in the summer which did not work out as planned.

There was always something not quite right....I could never put my finger on it, or perhaps I just did not want to. I am not sure of this.

Alone we were perfect. If we added other people into the mix we seemed awkward.

So how do you walk away from that person....the only person you've ever dated that truely loved you...the person that is your answer to who would you like to be stranded on a deserted island for the rest of you life with...how do you walk away from that person and believe you are doing the right thing? Well, it took me way too long to get to this point. The answer is simple, she deserves someone like me, but that doesnt ever have to ask that question. He just does not walk away.

She has passion, love, and life inside of her and I snatched that away selfishly not knowing what I wanted to do with it. I just knew I wanted it. Do not get me wrong, I was not a complete asshole about it. I knew there was moments where the two of us were happy as fucking hell. Moments that will never be forgotten, moments where we tapped into each others lust for life and just enjoyed what was around us. Unfortunately, it was spoiled for the most part and I let that happen. I regret not letting this relationship run its proper course....I will forever feel ashamed for that.

I met Laura at the wrong time in my life...I think if we had met earlier things would have worked out differently.

However, we have finally reached our destination...

We said our goodbyes after a bunch of tears, mostly mine. ha. I am a suck for her, what can I say.

This girl deserves whatever she wishes out of life....and she will get it. Karma will see to that. All she wanted to do was love me, and have me by her side doing the same back. She put up with a lot of shit, more then a normal person would have taken that is forsure. The title of this post is a Bob Dylan song directed not at her, but rather, a reflection of her attitude, her paitence, and my stupidity.

What do I deserve? Well, I deserve what I have gotten...and probably more of that to come.

I will have many a regret that I tampered with her heart. I had good intentions, but unfortunately was not the right person for her....and I refused to see it. It was like having the second best hand in poker. I went all the way to the bitter end hoping my royal flush would come out and was left with nothing...just a bunch of people pissed off at me, and lots of people hurt.

I only pray to God I end up with someone that has a heart like hers.

I will not settle for anything less....

Please be the New Kids on the Blocks greatest hits!!?!?

2007-01-05T12:18:00.000-08:00

Dumbfounded....that is pretty much the only word I can use to describe this event.

I stumbled out of my house late this morning and made my way over to my car which was parked a few doors down for a stupid reason I wont go into. As I got close to my car I could see a white bag underneath the windshield wiper.

Hummmm....what do we have here? The obvious thought was junk mail. Wrong.

It was a white plastic bag with something inside that surely did not come from a company who thinks because their junk mail is neatly packaged someone will be fooled into actually buying what they're selling.

Ok, so not junk mail, then what?

I open up the bag to find a CD case inside. Humm, ok, that’s an odd way to promote your death metal garage band I thought to myself. Oh wait, it’s not a CD.

Inside the CD case is a note....Instantly my head starts swimming trying to think of who would go through the trouble of writing me a note, driving to my house, and neatly packaging this to keep it safe from the rain.

Well I'll be a monkey’s uncle.

Not too sure if anyone who reads this remembers Maria or not. Quick refresh: We met, and she turned out to be really sweet and cute, but latched onto me like I was the best thing that ever happened to her. News flash, people do not like to be with other people that put them up on pedestals. There is no balance there. Anyways, I actually figured her to be an insecure nut case that just jumped on every guy that she was ever involved with the way she did with me...So, instead of doing the typical guy thing and having a grand old time, I did the mature thing and explained we should just not do this. I patted myself on the back, and was done with it...

This note was from Maria...so two months later with not a single word of contact I get this letter from her saying hello, and that shed just like to know how I was.

Now I'm a little confused, was this girl totally and completely nuts? Or, did she infact really fall super hard for me?

Either way it was kinda nice. I think most people would find this creepy, but I finally think I understand what’s going on in this girls head. I use to do lots of crazy things for people I cared about that would be considered a little out there. Always a fine line between bizarrely charming, and weirdoville.

Ohhh, I remember this now.

2007-01-04T06:34:00.000-08:00

My University grade average? 68.5%...Rounded up 69%. I like to think I got 69. A 70 looks a lot better, but in no means a good mark regardless. Ha. Grade school I was at the top of the class, not that it even matters, and highschool I was in the 80's. But, as I got older I came to realize a few things about school.

School for the most part is fluff.

My highschool graduation quote that was printed in the year book looked something this:

"Highschool is like a fight...You can mess around and throw a few punches, or walk away a smarter man"

Translation = Do what you need to, take what is offered to you, and get the hell out.

Christ, even back then I thought too much for my own good.

I have been doing some distant studies work to get my professional purchasing degree. I signed up for this thing, and then forgot about it for about 8 months. Whoops. I kinda thought I'd have a different job by now. Not the case.

Now that I'm studying every day and actually doing the work I don't mind it. It actually relates to what I do on a daily basis so that helps keep me motivated to continue. I have a new outlook on my education, and am eager to achieve in this course. Yes, yes...This is all wonderful stuff.

I handed in my first assignment not really knowing what the teacher was looking for. Seeing as I have lots of real life experience I figured I would try and relate this to the course material and blow the teacher away....Wrong. Guess what I got on my first assignment....Guess?.....68.5%. It was like a bad joke. The teacher pointed me in the direction of the text book to answer the questions, and even gave me a template to follow for the case study portion.

Fine....I remember this now....Teachers want you to regurgitate bullshit out of the text book because that's what they know and understand to be correct, and also find it easier to mark.

For my next assignment I followed his little gay template to a tee, and made all my answers the typical generic crap he was looking for. I can play this way, I do not mind. Guess what I got back on this assignment? 68%. I did fucking worse. He foolishly came out to say my structure was wrong on one part (I copied what he gave me as an example), and even had the balls to suggest I bring in real life examples to illustrate my points.

OOOhhhhhhhh RIGHT!!! Its all coming back to me now. I remember why I didn't bother running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to achieve 100% on every little stupid test, or quiz. It doesn't matter what mark you get, its what you get out of it. I COULD sit down and figure out exactly what this fruitcake wants to see on my paper, and get that great mark...Just not sure I want to. In University I came to this very same crossroad. Bite down and freak out to ensure I get the very best mark....Or???? Plan B. I choose to ignore class, skim text books (if I even bought them), and party my ass off because it didn't matter. I wrote exams drunk, I wrote exams high, hell I even wrote an exam for a course I wasn't even in just for shits and giggles. I still got what I needed in the end. My piece of paper that said I was smart. I do consider myself to have fairly business oriented mind, and can attribute a lot of that to my schooling, but for the most part all those dumb little details that get you the 90 vs the 70....Useless, forgotten, fluff...

Now here is where I would normally say, ok, screw you and the little horse you rode in on, I'm going to do buckets, play guitar, and fraternize with the next girl that walks by with her thong hanging out. I'll see you again at the final exam ya turd. But instead of being frustrated that my way didn't work, and doing it his way didn't work either, I am going to give this good grade thing another try.

Yeah for me!!!

New years resolution #2....Learn to be more patient.

What was number #1....Live for other people, not for myself. There is a few people in my life that need some help, and I think I can be that person. I've gotten myself on track for the most part (the previous post might not suggest so, but that is just typical me when I dont have anyone to behave for), so its time to do something different I think.

The Holidays

2007-01-01T12:23:00.000-08:00

So the holidays have come and gone...it was a bag of mixed nuts to say the very least.

The big thing I guess would be moving apartments again. This is a pain the ass. I like doing this less and less, and this time is only down the stairs. My brother is puking his guts out right now so I'm kinda doing this by myself. Ya its 6:30pm the day after New Years. Like two peas in a pod I tells ya.

Christmas itself sucked the big one. It wasn't that I didn't get what I wanted, I'm not 6. It was a combo of things I guess. We celebrated Christmas Eve, but I was not exactly "with-it" for the festivities.

Below you will see a few shots and a clip of me at 4am Christmas Eve morning. This will serve as my explanation as to why I didn't feel so hot come night time. I don't even remember this, but apparently after the big Christmas party my friends threw at this bar I ended up at the after party where I threw down some sick dance moves. Like bees to honey when the ladies saw my moves...hahahaha.

This is at the end of the one party...

Cab ride to the next party....Clearly I didn't need to be going to the next party.

And my debut on youtube ladies and gentlemen:

John Dances

Um ya....I'm an idiot.

Anyways,

What else happened on the holidays...I had a pretty funny night out in Toronto again. It was a triple threat evening.

First, as I'm driving to my buddies place to carpool down to the big city I see a youth on a bike get smoked by some old fart in a Cadillac. The retard on the bike was crossing when he shouldn't have been, but the guy in the car really should have seen the kid. Unfortunately he didn't, and the kid was thrown up on the hood of the car and then tossed off as the car slammed on the breaks. Right out of a movie. The kid gets up, gives the thumbs up and rides off. hahaha. Brilliant.

2nd, while walking to get some cash for the night in Toronto a couple walks past my friend, her boy friend, and myself. As they pass it was hard to avoid hearing their heated argument. Not entirely sure what it was about but the guy was saying something about using people. My friend shoots me a back-handed comment about that concept being right up my alley. Ha. I came back with a rather loud retort: "Did you just say I use people?!!?!" The dude who was originally talking about this heard my question and assumed I was talking about him. He came back, got right in my face, and asked me if I had a problem. hahaha. This fuckstick is my size to start, and there is two of us. What was this guy thinking? I said he was in the wrong conversation and that was the end of it. Loser.

3rd, I bumped into a half dozen people I went to university with that night. Some I wanted to see, some made me cringe, and others reminded me of hilarious bullshit I use to do.

This guy is now a staple in my random alumni spottings.

Hes got his own TV sports show now...I forget what channel its on. I heard hes doing well at it though.

The highlight of the night was seeing an old business classmate of mine. This guy is like 6'8" so its hard to miss, or forget him. He was with a bunch of his buddies and when we bumped into each other he explained to his friends that I was a legend of sorts. hahahaha. You see, for my major business project in university we had to draw up the plans for a realistic business opportunity from start to finish. This was actually a huge undertaking and quite a pain in the ass. What did I come up with?

Johnny's Babes and Bubbles

It was a laundry delivery service that would pick up your laundry, wash it, press it, and return it to you for a modest price. It was aimed at young professional males who are strapped for time.

This was my group. hahaah. I apparently was the envy of a few guys in the class. Best part was we did quite well on the project.

Too funny.

Last but not least we have New Years.

I will just do this in pictures because I need to get back to moving shit, and I'm sick of listening to my brother puke in the next room.

The hostess

Me and my dynamic foesball partner who went undefeated to take the belt for the evening.

And finally, what a person looks like after they drink a 26er of absenth.

Hope everyone had a good holiday season.

Back to the grind...

Cheers.

My Christmas this year in a nutshell...

2006-12-27T14:26:00.000-08:00

"Ho Ho Ho.."

Im going to Hell....

2006-12-23T19:14:00.000-08:00

Best "Christmas" song made even better.

Scroll down and enjoy...

Now maybe?...What if?...Hum....Ok I'm lost.

2006-12-22T08:58:00.000-08:00

Hit up the beer store last night to get a 6 pack for poker. Upon opening the box back on the ranch I noticed attached to it was a pink sticky note with my full name on it....

What the?....How in Gods name did that get there?

Honestly. Think about that for a second. Try and come up with some answers. You probably wont have any good ones. I know I didn't.

1) This case of beer was sent to me personally by the Brew Master himself, guided by the hand of God.

2) This was a new marketing technique used to invoke the sin of envy. Who is this John Macnamara, and why does he get this pack of beer? Fuck this guy, Im taking it!!

3) Maybe the cashier was trying to pick me up but wrote my name instead of hers...hahaha not likely.

4) I was in the same store a few weeks ago and saw an old acquaintance of an ex. I couldn't remember her name to save my life. I am still good friends with the ex, so during our next conversation I asked what that girls name was again (Nicole). The very same girl was working there again last night in the back. Perhaps when she saw me she got a message to the other girl at the front to perform this little ruse. A nice little way of saying, I remember your FULL name, thanks for not even knowing mine jackass.

AHahahah..

I like option 1 and 2 the best.

Short and Sweet

2006-12-20T05:26:00.000-08:00

So I went on another date...

This one had highschool written all over it.

I had gone off to buckfucknowhere for the night a little while ago to have drinks with a friend of mine. It was totally random that I was there, but I had a great time nonetheless. There are only two bars in this town, we hit up both. The first one was like Cheers, he knew everyone in there. The second was more of a mixed crowd of randoms. You had people who were barely 19, and weird 45 year old guys. Pretty much one of those places where everyone in town goes because there is nowhere else to go.

This second bar had a dance floor in the middle that was occupied by all sorts of different folks. The best group had to be this 4some of girls that did not give a shit. They were dancing their asses off to the cheesy tunes and loving it. I don't think they knew anyone else was in the bar. I stood back and admired these girls for enjoying the moment. They were not bombshells by any stretch of the imagination, but they all had character which is better sometimes anyways.

The night went on and as I was looking around but could not find one hot girl....Not one girl in the whole place that I thought was attractive.

Finally ONE girl showed up on the dance floor...One girl out of the entire bar was good looking. Well...That'll do I thought. There is at least one girl to occasionally glance over at and pretend like she's looking back at you in your drunken state. ahahhaha.

2am rolls around and the DJ pipes up: "Ok guys, last song, and lets make this a slow one"

Wha???? Where are we???? The highschool dance?

Anyways, the one attractive girl in the entire bar walks over to me and asks me to dance. Ummmm Hell yes I will!!

So we danced and in the end I got her phone number.

We went out for drinks the other night, which I thought went pretty well. Only thing was she was way more attractive then I had remembered. So here I am looking like my typical bum-self and she's dressed to the nines. Didn't seem to matter because we just sat and talked for hours. I could tell we weren't exactly on the same page as she had super girly girl tendencies. The words: I love shopping, and purses, and pink, and I want Paris Hiltons dog came out at various points. Her actual nickname was Paris Milton which suited her to a tee. But, I've come to learn that all the bombshells, or at least the ones I've met, think this way...so what can you do ha. Aside from the typical uber-girly stuff we got along extremely well on all accounts. The date came to and end and we decided to go see a movie one Friday night.

I had learned over the course of our chats that she was with someone for a year and a half, and they just broke up a few weeks ago. Not exactly something Id normally want to get myself involved with. We texted back and forth for a day or two and then she called me to say she just couldn't date someone right now. So either she was obviously still hung-up on the guy and wanted to spare me, which was thoughtful, or it was an excuse. Did not matter either way.

Tabernac though....She was smoking hot. ahhaha.

I was not surprised, or upset, or anything...I laughed when she said she was sorry.

Look, I've dated enough people to know that this stuff happens all the time and I thanked her for just being honest. I didnt need to even bother telling her I was about as emotionally available as a sea-cucumber...She beat me to it. Ha.

No harm, no Foul.

On an unrelated topic:

It was my pops birthday yesterday...We went out as a family and saw Blood Diamond. This was one of the best movies I've seen in a long time. Believable characters and plot, good cinematography, able to deliver a message without coming off as preaching, and even a love story that made you feel good despite having an outcome that wasnt...Just really well done and had me on a high after leaving the theater. I don't think that would be the normal reaction to seeing a war-torn part of the world exposed for what it was, but I guess I was focusing on the good, not the bad.

My mom hide her balloon sized ring after the movie ended. hahaha.

Could'nt help myself....

2006-12-19T06:16:00.000-08:00

K "fuck" it, this guy is just cool now....Im not afraid to say it.

In a box....

Tis the season...

2006-12-18T04:32:00.000-08:00

Number of days left before Christmas : 7

Number of gifts accumulated to date : 1

Number of chocolates and deserts consumed thus far : 87

Number of times I've been wished a Merry Christmas already : 39

Number of times I want to hear that again : -5

Number of Christmas parties to attend : 5

Number of days until I have a week off : Too f'ing many ha (4)

Number of drinks I had the night of my office Christmas party : 20 something I'm sure of it...Thank God the other 16+ were had after the work portion of the night had ended.

Number of bruises I have from that night : 4

Number of regrets that night : many, ha.

Number of kisses I will get on New Years : 0.........Son of a. Didn't plan this very well haha.

Number of things I want to do differently next year : lots.

Number of things I will actually do differently next year : a couple.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Years!!!!

I'll be out of commission for a while here....Catch you later.

Mother.....I've been.....Living with....A GAY MAN!!!

2006-12-15T09:04:00.000-08:00

Oh the shame....its true, its true.

Hahahahaha.

Funny part is? Its kinda correct.

You see, the guy I bought my house off wanted to stay on as a tenant for a few months until he found himself another place to live. The house is set up as a duplex so that worked out perfectly. He paid the mortgage while I fixed up the one apartment. Now that its all ready to go and in the paper to be rented he'll be leaving and I can move into that apartment to do the very same to it.

Funny thing was, this guy turned out to be an older gay man living by himself. And, to add to this the real estate agent was an open bi-sexual guy. Probably why this house went so cheap was the quasi-queer arrangements surroudning it.

No skin off my nose though, I had my laundry done and fresh bread baked for me.

Hahahhaa. Nothing sadder then an old queen I am told.

He leaves in a few weeks, and its time to move.....again.....

Well its about F'ing time.....

2006-12-11T15:22:00.000-08:00

It seems some good things have come my way...

1) I finally got a fucking goal in hockey. Only took me??? 7 games? But, it was a three point night for me so I think the curse is gone! I broke in alone and went five-hole. It was like I won the Stanley cup I was so thrilled.

2) I played online poker Friday night and won someone else 200 bucks. They rewarded me with lots of beers for this effort, and I subsequently lost all of it. Hahah. Good times were had though.

3) Today marks one month of no smoking anything what so ever. Anonymous....You can kiss my white ass. Ohhh Herrroo...

4) The waitress did not call me back. This in retrospect is a good thing as it would have been a headache to get out of. I am sure this was a situational infatuation anyways. I just wanted to like someone...So I convinced myself I did. Here I am a week later and I don't care. So, that's that. That, and did I really expect to win someone over like that? ahahah. Im an idiot.

Big thing was getting a #$@#$FA#$#@$ goal. That was starting to bug me dammit!!!

hhaah.

"You want a piece of ME!?!?! YOU GOT IT!!!!!

2006-12-08T18:25:00.000-08:00

I'm bored out of my f'ing mind.

I need something besides my houses to occupy my time or I'll go nuts.

The answer to my prayers? Free ski week in Alberta coming up in Feb.

I think it was 4 years ago now that I was last out that way heating up the slopes. Maybe it was 3? Since university its been kinda hard to date things it seems.

Anyways, Pornfield and I headed out to Panorama to stay with a friend of his working on the mountain. My God...What an awesome time that was. The skiing conditions from what I remember were pretty good, no bombs of fresh powder, but the temp was good and the snow was deep enough to enjoy.

Aside from the skiing, we had such a ridiculous time I couldn't wait to do this again. And here we are.

Highlights from the first trip would be Buddious....He was a f'ing ginormous St.Bernard that you could find standing at the end of the bar putting out the vibe while talking Dutch to his owner. The screaming of "Matterhorn" repeatedly at anyone in earshot for no particular reason. The screaming of my friends last name who we just happened to see out there by chance on the chair lift....His last name is pronounced Whore. Almost watching our newly acquired friend get his ass mangled by some jacked-up steroid freak, blue flames galore, and putting on shows for the main chair-lift line that was right outside our window in the early morning.

Butt, the number one highlight would have to be my performance on the 2nd last night.

I think I was the most tanked that night because I took a bet in foesball that each game the loser would buy the winner a beer...Two German tourists took the challenge. So I schooled both of these guys at the same time and many a beer was my reward. Ha.

After the bar we made it back to our room...We were being loud and rowdy and spilled out into the hall after awhile.

This stirred up a few other people from their rooms, including a room of girls down the hall...

What do I do???

It was a combination of Mr.Costanzas fight with Elaine and Party-boy from Jackass stripping in Japan.

I started stripping....Each piece of clothing was spiked down onto the floor with a vengeance. I ended up in the full Monty and then sorta realized what I was doing and ran back into the room ahha.

Best part of all this? There is a full video recording of me doing this. So, somewhere out there is a tape of me stripping totally hammered.

Awesome.

I've never actually seen this, but we are going out to see the same person so maybe I'll get a chance to view this. I am sure its been thrown out, or deleted, or burned. But, here's hoping.

"As in THEE Michael Bolton??"

2006-12-06T07:16:00.000-08:00

People say the strangest things sometimes.

I have learned to tune people out for the most part when I can tell they are about to say something completely useless. I have even gotten so good at this that I think they actually believe I am listening to them. The skill is most useful on the phone, but when pulled off in person is like a fine wine...Almost an art form if you ask me. Does this get you into trouble later when people ask you about this or that? Yes, yes it does. The 5% of the time this happens is worth the awkward moment because you can play up any number of excuses as to why you forgot anyways.

Last week I was giving someone my name, and address of the company to ship something to us.

"Why sure...Its John...Macnamara"

"How do you spell that sir"

"M A C N A M A R A"

"M A C A N"

"No madam, M A C N A M A R A"

"Insert address of my company, along with telephone number and fax line"

I think I must have said this grouping of letters and numbers over 2000 times. I say it with different accents sometimes now, or I accentuate different parts.

"Macnamara eh? Any relation to...

(THERE, RIGHT FUCKING THERE!!! That's when I would nod off and start typing another email or processing an order etc)

....Any relation to the twin "Kung-Fu Masters"?"

"Exsqueeze me....Did you say twin Kung-Fu masters?"

Hahhaha I couldn't help but start laughing at this lady on the phone. I felt bad afterwards because I could tell she studied there and didn't need to be getting shit from me. I am sure she understood why I found it humorous though.

I think that's every group of brothers best dream come true, to be kung-fu masters. I know for sure Dave and I joked about something like this...Although I think it was probably more a long the lines of Boondock Saints type work. Love that idea.

Point is....I guess you cant tune EVERYONE out, because you will miss things.

Christ I am bored.

I have a trip coming up in Feburary, but its not soon enough.

Oh BabyGolly!!! That was a Goodie!!!

2006-12-05T08:52:00.000-08:00

10 years ago I got my drivers license.

10 years ago I thought it would be fun to throw the E brake on and slide around in my Dads car.

Today, 10 years later, I still think performing this feet is entertaining.

What do both these stories have in common?

Last night with the first real snow fall of the season I managed to smash MY car off a curb and bend my rim much like I did with my Dads car.

Im not sure which time was less funny...

Some things change, and some things never do.

Ha.

And I would walk 500 more...

2006-12-02T13:44:00.000-08:00

I didn't fall off the wagon....I got a running start and launched myself off it.

The goal was to not have a drink for a month, and to ultimately cut out all the other bad things in my life. I didn't think I could be drinking and have a realistic chance of losing the other two bad habits.

So its been three weeks and I think I can no longer say I crave that smoke when Im swimming in a bottle of beer. I can also say Im not inclined to talk to herb when Im watching a movie/playing guitar/whatever....I think I actually play more guitar now for someone reason. Weird.

Back to falling off the wagon...I did this in great fashion. Lets start by saying my love life makes about as much sense as the screen door submarine commonly seen patrolling the shores of Newfoundland. I did happen to meet someone new that caught my attention. This has not happened in a long long time. I was at that point where I had forgotten about that feeling and was just bumbling along singing my song so to speak.

She is a friend of one of my friends sisters. She's a waitress at a bar I happened to go to one night out of the blue. I guess she works there part time to pay her way through nursing school. Anyways, we were introduced and I became somewhat smitten with her. I went back a bunch of times to see if she was working but to no avail. Id have a quick pint on my stops, and then be on my way. I've been told this is stalker like behavior. ahhaha. Sue me.

I show up on Friday and she is finally there working. I plop myself down at the bar and have a few pints while I work out what the hell I'm going to do, and or say. We said hellos as we caught eyes, but she was super busy so I didn't make a point of going over to talk to her right away. God, Im such a chicken. 4 or 5 pints later two of my friends show up and we continue to enjoy the mixture of hops and barely. 8 or 9 pints later they could see what I was about to do and did their best to stop me; but, I guess I lied and told them I was going to the bathroom and B-lined it to her.

This is what I came up with....Both times I've been there she has had guys try and pick her up. So instead of being that guy, I devised this....I would give her my phone number and SHE could start this if she wanted to, rather then have me hit on her.

So I drop my business card down in front her with my phone number on it, say nothing, and walk out.

What?!?! Why??? hahahaha. Christ Almighty....

The last time I had to drink myself stupid before I could muster up enough courage to talk to a girl I was 19.

I left my car there that night obviously, as my friends dropped me off. The next day I went for a walk......A long walk......Back to this bar to get my car. Must have been over an hour or so. On my travels I got some good pictures.

I love beech trees. They are always the last ones to loose their leaves, and physical structure of the trunks is always so cool.

This just seemed so out of place...There's no f'ing snow on the ground...Hell Hamilton was under 5 feet of water on Friday. Thank god it didn't get my houses. I would have been so pissed.

This topped it all off though:

This is a picture of the actual street sign from my first house. How sadly true this name is....But also funny as hell.

As I was going to put these pics on my computer I found this video of "Bosco" which is all I have left now....Single tear....Ha.

To cap off the weekend we had a big family shindig to celebrate my great aunts 80th birthday. This women has broken more bones then professional stunt men, but she just keeps on ticking. I don't know how she's made it as far as she has. Stubborn one that Shirley.

My family is hilarious...Its been a while since I've taken that amount of verbal abuse..."You live where?? My god...Are you trying to kill your poor mother? How are you ever going to attract a wife living there.....And why aren't you married yet anyways? Do you even have a girl friend???"

Holyshitballs....backoff, or I will just marry one of the extra friendly girls from that area to shut yah up!! haha.

P.S....I saw a hooker, who wasn't bad looking, get picked up by a nasty nasty old man...It was depressing. haha.

Now that was a random post....Me likey.

That has got to be the furthest past E ever!!!

2006-12-01T10:41:00.000-08:00

So I f'ing Kramered myself last night....

No I didn't get up in front of a room full of complete strangers and blurt our racial slurs until the entire world caught notice.

What I did do:

I was running a bit late for work yesterday so I drove to the office on empty. I knew I had just hit empty so there should be no problem making it there. After work I was extremely lazy and didn't feel like stopping to fill up. So, I played with fire and cruised home on fumes. I had a hockey game at 7 which crept up on me like that butler in Mr.Deeds. This left me no time to stop for gas either. Not sure if I would make it there or not I thought I would test out the limits of this so called "empty" concept on my gas gauge. Sure enough I made it to hockey!!!

Short recap: I corralled the puck out of mid-air at center ice with only one man left, whom I undressed, and broke in all alone on the goalie only to have the same no-talent assclown slash me at the last second. I also had an empty net shot from our end curve right 10 feet before the net in the dying seconds of the game. The law of averages says my unlucky streak will end soon.

After the game it was time to ask myself one question....Did I feel lucky? Yes, yes I did. I jumped into the "Black Bitch" and rode off into the night like a bat out of hell.

I had to make one stop before heading home which was at the other end of town. This meant I would have to cross over the Skyway bridge. This is not a small bridge. I often have dreams where I am on this thing and it starts to buckle and shake until it goes more and more vertical and then I just wake up. This dream sucks. I had one dream the other night where I was rocking out to MC Hammers "Cant touch this" with a crew of dead pirates....Don't even ask cause I just don't know. Anyways, I made it over the bridge, ran my errand, and headed home.

"IM GOING TO MAKE IT!!!" "IM GOING TO MAKE IT"

Hell I even got to the point where I contemplated that the gas gauge was just a big conspiracy. In fact, there is no such thing as gas!! Cars run on fun!! And this one man Thelma and Louise pleasure cruise was never going to end!!!

Chug.....Chug....Cough....Hiccup....Chug...........

Shit.

The party came to a sudden and abrupt end downtown in the North East end of Hamilton.

Gas is real folks, and cars do not run without this.

Hahahaha.

That would be nice...

2006-11-30T17:26:00.000-08:00

Yes, knowing what you want to do with your life is a good thing...Not to worry J-Mo, you and everyone else like us will get there.

It should be that one thing in your life that brings your emotion to the surface, that thing that keeps you up at night, that thing that burns holes in your days because you cant concentrate on anything else...

What is mine? It is a combination of music and film....and beautiful girls. I hear sound and am immediately taken away to a visual depiction of what I think these sounds resemble. So, I hope to God my life turns out to have this in there somewhere...Even if it is just as a hobby I think I will be content.

A colleague of mine pointed this song out to me:

BRAND NEW

"Jesus Christ"

Jesus Christ, that's a pretty face
The kind you'd find on someone I could save
If they don't put me away
Well, it'll be a miracle

Do you believe you're missing out
That everything good is happening somewhere else?
But with nobody in your bed
The night's hard to get through

And I will die all alone
And when I arrive I won't know anyone

Well Jesus Christ, I'm alone again
So what did you do those three days you were dead?
Cause this problem's gonna last more than the weekend.

Well Jesus Christ, I'm not scared to die,
I'm a little bit scared of what comes after
Do I get the gold chariot?
Do I float through the ceiling?

Do I divide and fall apart?
Cause my pride is too sly to hold back all my dark
And the ship went down in sight of land
And at the gates does Thomas ask to see my hands

I know you'll come in the night like a thief
But I've had some time alone to hold my lies inside me
I know you think that I'm someone you can trust
But I'm scared I'll get scared and I swear I'll try to nail you back up

So do you think that we could work out a sign
So I'll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try

I know you'll come for the people like me
But we all got wood and nails
Tongue tied to a hating factory

But we all got wood and nails
Your tortured (and hanging) factory
Yeah, we all got wood and nails
Your tortured (and hanging) factory
Yeah, we all got wood and nails
And we sleep inside of this machine

F'ing great tune.

I saw this band once, and I think I need to see them again. I crowd surfed last time during the best song and I think I had an orgasm on the crowd it was so f'ing sweet.

He just couldn't stay away....Or could he?

2006-11-29T15:39:00.000-08:00

Well that is that....Never getting another cat again.

My little guy went A.W.O.L. and I have a feeling hes not coming back.

Id like to think he got scooped up and is off living the high-life in some playboy mansion type setting.

However, I live in Hamilton and he probably got cat-napped by some crazy old lady with 43 other cats....or he got flattened by a car.

He was wicked and I got attached to him as I normally do with animals so he will be missed. There is a chance he'll still turn up, but I have a feeling this hope will be in vain so there's no sense in pretending.

Its probably for the best as this cat represented something totally ridiculous in my life. As more time has passed I will probably share that story soon, quite funny actually now that I think about it.

Anyways, good on yah buddy.

It was swell while it lasted.

God Bless the Duprees of this world...

2006-11-28T13:31:00.000-08:00

I watched You, Me, and Dupree the other day.

I honestly did not like this movie at all. It was remotely funny in parts, but the main guy gets on my nerves as a person somehow which wrecked it for me.

I did however like Duprees character, or rather, liked his little rant in the classroom on career day. That, and the realization of his purpose in life.

Its come to my attention that this Friday will be the two year "anniversary" of my Blog. Hard to believe I have been writing gibberish in here for that long. If you look back at the starting point versus what you read now there are some striking differences.

Grammar and content are two things that come to mind.

Hahahaah....Basically this whole thing has changed over time with me. Its kinda neat to see the "ups" and "downs" of it all though; and I guess that is the purpose of this thing.

What is noticeable to me is the lack of that one good moment. There is no real high point here. There is boat loads of lows, and tons of funny stupid shit, but I cant for the life of me find a string of posts where Im in a state of complete bliss.

With that comes the thought of little old Dupree preaching to the youths of today about life. In his rant on the possibilities of what this world holds in store for them he makes reference to alien pods...Not to sure what in Gods name he was talking about there....But, it does make sense if you think about it. Each one of us starts off as this little ball of fluff with limitless possibilities. Some of us will find our calling right off the bat. We know from that point on what our purpose in this life will be and spend the rest of our time here pursuing and perfecting our goal. Some of my friends are going to become lawyers, some are doctors, some are getting their PHDS in engineering, while a few others have Masters etc, etc. That is only one side of spectrum. There are also others that knew their calling was to help others, or to provide for others. I have friends who work with sick children, troubled teens, and so on and so forth. These are the people who have either found their calling or stumbled into it for one reason or another.

Then there is the rest of us.....

The people who just kinda get by doing what they do. We have not found our purpose and seem to be labeled as slackers for not having that end goal as of yet.

I am definitely one of those people....I have no idea what the hell I am doing here. ha. I think this frustrates me a great deal and causes me to try and create things that are not real for the sake of having something to do.

I wonder what its going to be...Will I find some crazy passion later on in life? Will it be a person that makes me feel alive? Perhaps my children will become my inspiration? Who knows...What I do know is that even though my current situation may seem like wasted time, it is not. Every mistake, every victory, every tie is just another step towards figuring out yourself and your life. There is no fault for not knowing what you are suppose to be doing. You will know when you know.

That being said, I would like to make reference to another movie I watched last night: "Things to do"

This was a Canadian made movie that was recommended to me by a friend at work. I guess her friend from back home wrote and produced it.

The movie was essentially about nothing. This guy reaches his wits end working some shitty office job in the big city. With nowhere else to go he moves back home to his old stomping grounds. While at home he comes up with the idea to create a list of things hes always wanted to do. With the help of his socially inept side-kick he goes about completing his tasks. On his journey through his list he discovers things about himself and life in general he had no direct intention of stumbling across.

At the end he comes to the realization that life is hard for everyone no matter what you may think. That, and you will not truly understand what you are searching for until it is right there in your face. When it is right in your face you will know it because there will be no half measures, no doubt, it will consume all of you.

This flick inspired me to create my own list of things to do.

Some of the things on here are pretty standard like going bungy jumping for example. Some other things are a little more specific to my character. Id like to play guitar outside the beer store one day just to see what it feels like. Should be fun going through these one by one.

To to top this off I will leave you with another movie you should all watch:
"Its all Gone Pete Tong". This is the story of a man who found his calling in life, but had it taken away from him. He was a famous DJ at the top of the industry living a life most people can only dream of. He had the money, the cars, the friends, the houses, the hot wife, the drugs, the parties, the this, the that. He had everything that is held up high in this life by most. This all came crashing down when he went deaf. His universe was turned upside down as he withdrew from the world not knowing what to do with himself. His wife jumped ship for some other guy, the record deal was shot, and he was left all alone with his demons to sort out.

It is actually a really inspiring "story". He learns to DJ again with the help of his lip-reading teacher. They find something real between each other and fall in love. It is something that is much more profound then anything he ever had in the past, yet incredibly simple. He does one last gig to show the world he has overcome his past, and can never be stopped. After that? He just disappears and spends the rest of his days loving his wife, his life, and his new found happiness.

So I guess what I am saying is don't be upset if you haven't figured out what the hell you want to do. And if you have had it taken away, you will find something more powerful and important down that long winding road called life so there is no need to worry.

Happy two years to me.

Hahaha.

Its been two weeks

2006-11-27T15:13:00.000-08:00

That is all.

Looking for one thing, but finding another

2006-11-24T15:17:00.000-08:00

I started out this post by looking for pictures of routine things. On my travels for these pictures I stumbled upon this amazing photographers website. So enjoy these. There is tons more, worth a look if you ask me.

I have found myself in somewhat of a rhythm these last two weeks.

I get wake up, throw my cat off me because he's favorite place to sleep is on top of me now. If he's not purring and pawing my face, he's licking my nose. The little bastard is lucky he's cute. Go through the usual routine I always have before work minus using my dryer as an iron because I don't have one in this house YET.

Work is the same old same old, except on lunch I now spend an hour studying for my PMAC course.

End out my day only to come home to more work....The house.

Right now we are in the midst of painting the place. Its a bigger house then my last home so there's more to do. It needs to be done now because in a months time my brother and I will be moving downstairs to the other unit. The 2nd and 3rd floor will hopefully be rented out ASAP.

I think the lack of posts has something to do with my lack of time.

Highlights of my non-existent social life:

Hockey - Rung one off the goalies face with a minute to go. I swear Im due; got another penalty. hhaha.

Poker - Came back last night from being the first guy down to his last five chips, and one hand away from playing XBOX 360, to winning the whole damn thing ha.

Parties - Going to my first Christmas party on Saturday?!?!? Its a month before?? Its pot-luck so I will not complain because I will be fed.

ha.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it Thomas!!

2006-11-20T09:34:00.000-08:00

Well I made it.

One week of absolutely no toxins what so ever. Except for maybe the odd T.V. commercial. Its not like I have been avoiding these temptations either. I have been to the bar three times this past week, watched a bunch of movies, been around people who smoke, etc, etc...

I don't know if I FEEL better yet....But I guess its going to take some time. Last weeks hockey game was my best so far despite the result, and I think my new habits might have had something do to with it.

Recap: We are playing the number one team who pounded us 5-1 last time.

4-2 us half way through the 3rd period. The puck is in the corner so John heads to the net...hummm there is no one around me....Pass it to me, pass it to me!!, pass it to me!!! The pass comes to John and he blasts it over the net. Insert loudest F bomb ever, not inside my head like the rest of this recap. The other team picks up the puck, skates down to the other end and scores. John hangs his head in shame and skates off.

4-3 us....Some gay-ass douche bag scores for the other team. This was one of those cocky show-boating you want to bend your stick around their face guys.

4-4 tie...30 seconds left, pucks in their end and goes back to our guy on the point. John heads to the net again to try and either a) screen the goalie or b) tip the shot in. Standing in front of a slap shot with no face mask is never really smart, but its hockey. Our defenceman winds up and blasts one at the net, John tips the shot towards the goal only to have the goalie stop it on the goal line with his STICK!!!

4-4 tie final....John just laughs as he is beyond annoyed to even let out an F bomb.

Anyways, was a good game and I actually feel like I might be getting back into shape. I've only been talking about doing that for like a year or so. haha.

I bought a watch

2006-11-19T16:19:00.000-08:00

Why in Gods name is this relevant?

Well you see, somewhere during this "night" I managed to dismantle my watch in a drunken stupor only to wake up with half of it in my pocket. Useless. Coincidently, since that point I have kinda been on auto-pilot. Much like Adam Sandler in click. I guess it started before then, but that night was the last straw type deal.

Aside:...The girl in that movie? I am absolutely smitten with. She has got to be the hottest girl on the planet for me hands down. I do not like famous people, or idolize these people at all. I couldn't care less about Tom and what's her faces marriage. I don't even remember that girls name, but Kate B something or other is out of this world.

Back to the watch. I did not bother getting a new one because it was not time to get a new one. I was in a funk, a rut, a dark place. There was no point in getting a new watch because time had lost all meaning anyways. I did not want to keep track of this period in time. I didn't even really plan this, it happened subconsciously I suppose. I just woke up and wondered what the time was.

This is somewhat similar to the time my watch smashed into a thousand pieces and I knew it was right for me to make my exit from Australia, and move on to Thailand.

I wear my watch on my right hand so its felt like something has been missing.

Glad to have it back.

I need to paint my room

2006-11-17T16:43:00.000-08:00

I think you were right J-Mo, being in my room is like drowning.

I've been told the best way to go is by drowning. The struggle is torture, but the end is a feeling of complete euphoria. I guess when you finally take that breath of water its like a combination of being in the womb all over again and one crazy ass I.V. Ha.

The struggle though...the struggle is unbearable. You know that breath is coming and you do whatever is in your power to make sure that doesn't happen. The thrashing about trying to grasp onto anything, anything at all that may help you out of your situation is exhausting. The bobbing up and down from certain death to a glimpse of hope is enough to drive a man mad. I think its when the branch you've latched onto breaks and sends you down further then you've ever been is the moment when you stop fighting. Part of you wonders if you'll be seen as a quitter for dying, but you dont really have a choice. You look around at what your demise will be, take it all in, smile, take one last look and breathe in the new life that awaits you...

Before you get to that point you kinda wonder why the fuck you went swimming at all.

Here's your nudity Kels. ha.

Freedom of speech

2006-11-16T18:02:00.000-08:00

"Is mine"

Love this song...

When the negatives outweigh the positives

2006-11-14T11:32:00.000-08:00

I negotiated our mail-delivery/bank run/courier account.

We got one heck of a deal.

In return?

A strange man comes into our office every once and a while now and unleashes such a chaotic fury of digustingness that could only come from the depths of hell itself on our washroom. It is so bad that it comes down the hallway and makes everyone in the office ill. I do not think this man is human.

He is employed by the company who does these services for us.

I am considering changing this account solely based on this.

We're going down in a Blaze of GLORY BABY!!!

2006-11-13T10:48:00.000-08:00

Judging by the title it might not be very hard to see how my casino adventure went. The thousand was gobbled up crazy fast which left us with only one thing to do....Drink. ha.

And drink we did!!!

They actually ran out of milk at one point and had to serve us our white Russians with cream??? I don't recommend drinking them with cream for a prolonged period of time.

Im not even sure why I got a hotel room because I don't even remember being in it. ahhaahha. We woke up at 10:30am giving us a half hour to be out.

At breakfast a rather strange, yet delightfully refreshing idea hit me. I need to become straight-edge for a bit. I am curious as to how healthy people live haah. I always say I'm going to quit this, or cut back on that and it never sticks. But, if I just go cold turkey on everything there will be no more temptation. There is no gateway back into it...

This idea came to me after I had to vacate the restaurant from laughing too hard. I was laughing so hard, and so out of control that I almost threw up from the hangover. This is just ass-backwards to me...I've gotten myself to a point where one of the funniest moments I've had in a while was interrupted by my habits of the previous night.

SO THATS IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Johnny Straight-edge for a bit it is.

Someone wish me luck dammit. hahaha.

The Crew

2006-11-12T20:14:00.000-08:00

There has been a base-camp type of a crew that exists amongst a group of my friends. We all have traveled or done school in other places, but for the most part this group of 6 has always been.

For a while now there was talks about who would get married first. It was almost like a who could hold out the longest game. This game is now over. As of yesterday the first one has made the big plunge.

Here is the happy couple:

Love both these guys...

So that's one of out six, leaving the last 5 to sort out their lives. Here are my predictions as to the order of the hook-ups.

1)Spyrou...Already done.

2)Declan...Just finished school, been dating his lovely girl for a few years now, talks of buying homes together in there, love each other like mad, its more of a when question for these guys, not if. Hence, him being next.

3)Pegg....Just moved in with his girlfriend and got a new job. He loves the shit out of his girl, he did have a brainfart and broke up with her, had a meltdown. Realized her couldn't live without her, and here his is. Pegg is pretty laid-back so I see him getting around to doing this later then Declan.

These are the three for-sures...Then we have the three wandering idiots.

6)Adam....I will predict Adam to be last because he has no prospects and is not done school yet. Hes getting his PHD in rocket science or something haha.

That would leave us with the two dark horses...Mikey, and myself.

4)Mikey....The two of us are very impulsive and could just wind up doing something crazy. However, Mikey has beat me to the punch on this maneuver...Hes selling his condo and moving out West to be closer to his girlfriend. This would put him in the running to come in 4th.

5)John the 5th...This would put me in 5th. Although, at this rate I could end up 6th....or do something totally crazy and wind up 2nd. Who knows....

But, this is how I see it.

No lights for you!!!! Come back one year!!!!

2006-11-10T09:29:00.000-08:00

Well my boss seems to be in a better mood today so that's a good thing. I get pissed off for feeling used and unappreciated....This builds up and builds up and then I just get f'ing fed up. This is then reflected in my work which triggers her to treat me like a child. I get upset with myself for letting this even happen so I buckle down and get back on track and she smiles at me again. Its a terrible cycle but here we are. I am up for an increase in January. So I'll probably sit on this and go back to working my ass off until then.

Anyways, on a lighter note:

Weirdest hockey game ever last night. We didn't start playing until 11pm which is stupid late for a game, but what are you going to do. We finally got our jerseys last night which look pretty sweet. We are the Chuck Norris All-stars. So our jerseys have a huge clenched fist on the front. We kinda look like a bunch of confused motherfuckers out there if you ask me. We have the black panther symbol on the KKK's whites.

Back to the game...

Half way through the second period some guy on the other team gets a roughing penalty. When the commotion settles down he comes up with the bright idea to spit on our player. ahhahahahahha. Brilliant move.

He gets tossed from the game and is given a 7 minute penalty??? What the hell is a 7 minute penalty?? Just as the time keeper is trying to enter this into the scoreboard the arenas power goes. Hahahah it was like the scoreboard couldn't even handle this messed up call that it overloaded itself and shut the place down.

Mr.McGoo and his team of half-witted knuckle draggers couldn't get the power back on so we had to call it quits half way through.

Idiots...

Nine-Hundred and Ninety Nine Ways to Die.

2006-11-09T15:02:00.000-08:00

I just had a thought about how sweet it is going to be when I die....

Now keep in mind this is being said in the best of humor and is completely fictitious as I you will see prior to the end of this post.

When you die and are walking through the green open fields of heaven anything kinda goes right? Its heaven! You cant exactly die all over again from falling off a cloud and going splat now can you?

So hear me out....I could technically meet my boss up there (Who by the way I have serious doubts is making it up there and is why this story, besides being retarded, is entirely impossible) and have no regrets for anything that is said or done.

So, I could casually stroll up to her, toss a few grenades in her pants, stand back, and just wave...When the magical cloud that is her spirit comes back into view after being distributed amongst the atmosphere shed probably say: "Oh John...hahah....ya got me there...that was a good one. I probably deserv...." CABLAMO!!! Before she's done I've blasted her FROM Kingdom-come back down to somewhere over around Appleby Line and the QEW with a rocket launcher. "Haha...another good one....but I've gotten the point. I am sorry I..." POOOOFFFF!!!! She is instantly vapourized (No, not from one of my farts last Saturday) but by a gigantic laser beam.

This would just go on and on until I got bored.

I became this annoyed when I returned back to work after a three hour ordeal to see an email in my inbox from my boss saying it was unacceptable to leave work and not tell her where I was going.

Where I was:

I was driving out to a vendor to pick up a die used to print the artwork on one of our cardboard cartons for us. This is one of our most commonly used boxes in packaging our product. Naturally, the vendor is not impressed he is losing a large chunk of our business. Hence, when he said to come pick up the die I did not for a second think of asking him to ship it to me. Why? Because you just do not do things like that. Its called business ethics. Secondly, the large container board producers in the states are pushing through a hike on this commodity which would mean I could see an increase in the costs of my cartons.

Now, with the possibility of this increase looming over your head would you feel more inclined to pass this increase onto your customer before or after he just took away the cash crop? Anyone? Anyone at all?

So....I need to go there. Its not a question of whether I go or not, I go. I am the mirror image of a sales person at times...sometimes you need to smooth things over and butter up your contact to keep the relationship in working order.

The reason I am taking the business away? Not because of price, or quality, or lead times....No no....I am actually sending this down to our parent company in the States. You see, they send us a standard product in this box, we will call this box 101102...Because that's what I call it. I know way too many part numbers then I care to think about. Here's a typical one 82500060030053. Neat eh? Anyways, they send us this stuff in 101102; we modify the material slightly and then place it in our version of 101102 with our artwork. We spend roughly $25,000 a year on this one carton alone. That's not a lot of cash, but in terms of my salary it seems like a good chunk of change. So, we send our artwork down there and when they send us the material it is already packaged in our carton. Its called Supply Chain Management. Something our company does not do very well between divisions.

In a nutshell I am going out of my way to do a fairly decent thing for the business as a whole. I got blasted for my efforts instead....

Not to mention she held a meeting previous to me leaving on this trip where she proceeded to tell me she thinks I'm taking kick-backs from one of my vendors. This was not said directly to my face....Cant do that....But she can say it a few other ways which she did...Unbelievable. Yes, Im really pumped about the Toronto Blue Jays coat the light bulb guy tries to give me once a year in hopes of an order from me.

Anyways, heaven...I'll see ya there. It'll be swell. hahahaah.

I cant win.

Giddy with anticipation

2006-11-08T05:37:00.000-08:00

Its only Wednesday....Hump day....Tis a good day, but not as good as Saturday is going to be.

I am making a wise investment. I am going to be giving this man 1000 Dollars to gamble with. It does not matter if he wins or loses...

Why? Because I saved a bundle on my car insurance!! haha jk.

I did save a bit on the hotel for the night through this little gem: www.priceline.com. You type in where you want to stay, how many stars you want, and the price YOU want to pay. So I got a 4 star hotel room for 90 bucks a night!! I owe many thanks to pornfield on this one.

On a random side note, waking up from a nap after work at 7:30pm is incredibly embarrassing when you calm down from the initial freak out session for thinking you were late for work.

Stupid 3 and Lucky Me

2006-11-07T10:04:00.000-08:00

So bad stuff comes in threes right? The passing of my friends mother was the first, and as of last night it has been brought to my attention another mother in our group is ill. A third has not shown its head yet, but there was a possibility of another mother being diagnosed with a serious aliment. Hopefully this is not the case and bad luck can just come in a pair this time.

This lady has been one of the most visible and entertaining mothers of the group. Perhaps because we use to spend so much time at this guys house what with the pool and the bar in the basement. The results are not in yet, so everyone is hoping for the best on this one. It is definitely not time for her to go...I kinda feel it...So I am hoping she will be ok. It is terminal, but there is a chance to cure this and beat it.

I guess one day I will look back and wonder why I wrote stuff like this, but it is times like these that are the most real I suppose.

On the other side of the coin its the big casino weekend coming up!! So hotel rooms will be booked, wallets will be lined, and suits will be pressed.

DADDY NEEDS A NEW PAIR OF SHOES!!!!!

Humm, I guess we did?

2006-11-04T12:51:00.000-08:00

"Hey, jackass....Might wanna clean up your mess in the living room"

"Argh, kill me...Water...Give me water...and what's the mess about?"

"Its mostly the pizza"

"We had pizza last night?"

"Yes you idiot, so did the floor, the carpets, and the couch"

It hit me this morning. I have to clean this up...No one else will be doing this for me. When I lived alone that was a give in, but now that I live with my brother I thought perhaps there was a way out. haaha, no. I think its sunk in that its my house and I still have to take care of the place.

The other house is all rented out now so that's a load off my mind. A really nice couple rented it out. The girl? Ya she's smoking. So upstairs is the blonde bombshell and down stairs is this cute sexy brunette. I think Grant Ave owes me for making that street just a little bit better. Perhaps a tax break or something?

Now all I have to do is keep with the repairs....Grant needs a complete furnace install, and Stinson needs all the wiring updated. Nothing major. Hahah. God dammit.

I am planning a big casino venture next weekend so hopefully I walk out a winner...That's the way to do it right? Plan like you've already won? I heard that works out all the time.

I am still hungover and its 4pm...Thank god I only do this once a weekend now instead of twice. I swear to god my farts could have vapourized solid objects this morning. Who's sexy? Ya that's me. hahaha.

The definition of a good person

2006-11-03T12:31:00.000-08:00

If I had to think of a good person, this guy would be it. He does no wrong, and always puts everyone else first. He is never selfish, deceitful, dishonest, or harmful. He is the one person in my life that when he is upset with me I feel ashamed. You know you've f'ed up because the barometer of good and bad is seen through his actions...And hes not even aware of it...He just is this way. Im not sure if everyone has a person in their life like that, but in mine he is it. There is another older gentlemen I work with who is also a person of this nature. Having people around like this helps me to be a better person I think. As of late I am not impressed with the way I've been living my life...Mostly because I do not think I have been the sole person in control. I think I have let other people lead me around for better or for worse.

Yesterday was not a good day.

I was kinda on edge about the visitation that night for his step-mothers funeral. Prior to the visitation our hockey team, which he plays for, had a game at 6. Now I am the Wayne Gretzky of hockey, not for my keen sense of where to be at all times, or my record breaking point stats, but for my never ever getting a penalty stat. I don't really understand the concept of getting penalties. Like why would I hit a guy from behind? Why would I spear someone? Why would I hook someone when Im probably faster then them anyways? I wouldn't...Its just not me I suppose. The last penalty I got was probably 8 years ago.

Yesterday? I got two...ahhaa.

The first was a bogus tripping call and everyone knew it, even the guy who fell over because he didn't know how to skate knew it.

The second one? Well.....This one was different. I got bumped out of the blue after the play ended. It was like I was Darcy Tucker and the guy figured I would retaliate. Now, normally I would not...Id be the bigger man, and shrug it off giving the guy no satisfaction. (Yes that sounds gay, but you know what I mean). But yesterday? I snapped...

"Hummm WTF was that for I thought to myself? Do I drop this guy? No, no...Don't dooooo ahhhh Fuck it, hes dead."

I turned around and half cross-checked,half punched him double fisted in the face....and I loved it.

I don't even know the last time I punched someone...Even when I got hit with that shovel I didn't bother doing anything about it. Those guys thought they were sticking up for their little buddy and I was part of the crowd they needed to get. Random act of aggression against me for no reason on a day like yesterday?....I don't think so. I took my two minute penalty with a smile on my face.

Today was the funeral service...Everyone was pretty good through the whole thing. The priest read a bit of a her last words she wanted said and that got to most of the people there including myself, but I held out on the crying thing pretty good...I did until it ended and I saw him walk past me with tears in his eyes...Open the flood gates...To see this guy upset is like a dagger in me for some reason. He is a person that should never be delivered pain like this, and in my life he is one person who has been through the most...

Makes you appreciate what you have.

A team of monkeys couldn't have done a better job.

2006-11-02T15:05:00.000-08:00

So, I moved into my new place and finally got some pics of how the transition went.

This would become my room...

It has been described as "hard to be in". Blue room, with blue curtains makes for an uncomfortable setting for short periods of time. Hang out long enough and you get accustomed to the feeling of complete sadness and despair. ahahah.

Our new hallway...Stacking things here made it extra fun getting into other larger rooms. Duhhhh....

Next we have Daves room. I think I can say with 100% certainty it was wallpapered by someone on acid.

Our new living room complete with a feng shui overhaul by Ishmato Yoi.

So this is basically what the place looked like from day 1-7 above...It took almost a week to sort through this mess of shit. There was no rhyme or reason for the way we unloaded the stuff. It has come together a bit more now; we even have a shower!! You aren't quite sure if the thing is on or not because the pressure is so low, but its better than a bath.

The last picture was going to be of Bosco and how settled in he is...But I guess the cats out of bag on that one!! BOOOYAAAAHHHH!!

HA, that was almost as bad as a Berry-funny-joke. I went to high-school with that guy, blows my mind hes on the radio.

Anyways...We are in now and settled. Moved the dishwasher over last night too, but, because it couldn't fit in the car I had to wheel it down the street four blocks to the new place. I did not feel out of place or strange at all...I guess that's what's so great about Hamilton.

2006-11-01T15:29:00.000-08:00

bosco

God Dammit

2006-10-31T12:03:00.000-08:00

One of my best friends, if not the closest and longest friend I've ever had, had his mother pass away last night. She had terminal cancer for quite some time now and was fighting a good fight. Every time I saw her she looked healthy and seemed in good spirits. Must have just been that much stronger to keep that up for everyone else.

I was a lot younger when his first mother passed away...She was the only person I've ever been close to that died.

It just doesn't seem fair.

Smoking was to blame here...kinda makes me want to smash everyone I know who smokes like a champ...but to each their own. I am no Saint.

I watched Saw 1 and 2 last night...kinda goes hand and hand with this day.

Do you appreciate life? I do not think I do. I live each day as if there are a million more to make something out of...I live waiting for things that may never come instead of being a little more Capre Diem if you will.

A lesson to us all...Life is precious, and easily squandered...So make the most out of it. Buy that puppy you see in the paper, take that trip to some sun-soaked beach, ask out that girl you've been staring at in gleeful awe, get that job you love, or quit that BS job you have, confront that person you need to about the wrongs they've cause you, take that risk you doubt yourself on, punch out that asshole that gave you shit for no reason....K maybe don't do that one.... But you get the point...

I never really see death as a negative thing. I was told once the only reason why people are sad when a person dies is selfishness. They are sad because they will not have that person in their life...That their time has come and they now can rest in peace and you should celebrate for them. I believe in that very much. Will I be a ball a tears when someone close to me passes?

Yes, Yes I will.

Margie...You made a lot of people smile while you were here, including me.

You will be remembered, and missed.

The politically incorrect version of Halloween

2006-10-30T12:01:00.000-08:00

I had a Halloween party on Saturday night, and I must admit, people went all out on their costumes...Well some of them. I don't think the two jackasses sporting coat hangers around their necks, pretending to be aborted fetuses that made it, put too much effort into theirs.

We had successful suicide bombers stuck in purgatory:

Steve Erwin...He actually won 2nd prize purely based on the level of distastefulness it brought to the table.

There was of course some good "normal" costumes...By that I mean less offensive.

The 3rd place prize went to the toothbrush complete with aging strip.

First place went to this couple for relevance, wit, and detail...

I give you Tie Domi and Belinda Stronach:

There were other highlights, like the 5 of spades, a pair of dice, and Richie Tenenbaum. No idea where the camera was at that point?

Yes it was a gooder....

I think I was trying to combine Dumb and Dumber and Kung Fu Hustle....

To pat? Or, not to pat?

2006-10-28T18:17:00.000-07:00

This will be the conclusion of the "So I went on a date" post.

How can I be writing a conclusion already? Well its simple....The introduction was the top part of the bun, and this post will be the bottom part of the bun.

So where's the beef??? (God, I miss those commercials) you might ask?....Where's the juicy details? I can sum this up very briefly by saying she grabbed the ketchup, mustard, and relish all at once, laid them down on the floor, and jumped on them.

This little thing, whatever it was, went from zero to 60 in 2 dates.

Extremely sweet girl, very cute, good family, is a MASSAGE THERAPIST!!!, blah blah blah. Nothing really wrong on paper....However, something was not right here.

After 2 dates it was like she had known me for years, and as if we had been dating for just as long. In my head it was "Hum, she seems nice, maybe we should hang out again sometime... Yah that would be nice... Maybe I will call her on the weekend and see a movie or something. Yah that's a good idea". I do not think this was what was going on in her head. I knew we were about 2000 miles apart when I came out from work to find a note on my car from her in my windshield. It was an "Aw, just wanted to say hello, I miss you already somehow, was driving past your office anyways and saw your car, and just needed to say hello..Hope you don't mind, Im not nuts, I just really like you" letter.....Oh crap. haha.

How in the hell did this happen already? Like there's little hearts in the note, and in the emails, and texts...Jebus. Yes I know what its like to fall head over heels for someone. Just been awhile since someone did that over me...Was not ready for that one at all.

So...Here's the shitty, yet great part about this; I am absolutely terrible at hurting peoples feelings...Its a character flaw for sure. The shiity part is obviously hurting her, the great part is that I had the balls to do it. Haha. Sounds ridiculous doesn't it? But, Im actually proud of myself for doing this.

To a guy this will look like "Ya..I guess you did the right thing...You could have just gone along with it, had a lot of fun, and then bolted, but it was the right thing to put a stop to this"

To a girl this will look like "WTF!!! Your damn right you're breaking this off asshole"...(throw in a short novel of other shit that all pretty much means exactly what I just said above).

The only thing is that maybe I didn't give this enough time? That would be the only reason for not making that phone call. For me, I just know things like that within a few weeks. It is either there, or it's not.

Plus, I really have no business dating anyone anyways. Ha. Just curious I suppose.

What was I thinking? Wont be doing that again anytime soon.

Anyways, patting myself on the back for this one.

"Who does he think he is? He cant say that to me?..Can he?

2006-10-27T05:24:00.000-07:00

"There are only four types of officer. First, there are the lazy, stupid ones. Leave them alone, they do no harm. Second, there are the hard-working, intelligent ones. They make excellent staff officers, ensuring that every detail is properly considered. Third, there are the hard-working, stupid ones. These people are a menace and must be fired at once. They create irrelevant work for everybody. Finally, there are the intelligent, lazy ones. They are suited for the highest office."

General Erich Von Manstein (1887-1973) on the German Officer Corps

I Know which one I am. Do you?

After my boss blasted my work ethic to bits and pieces I came back with this story....That, and evidence that this department is running about 200% more efficient then it ever has in the past.

The next day I overheard she wanted to fire me for having the audacity to make such claims about the structure of human nature in the food chain of the business world.

Now, she is the hard-working intelligent type, so naturally she hates my type. I get the same or better results with half the effort. This is a piss off. Ha.

Anyways, point of this post was to share my epiphany. I am going to start my own business. Nothing crazy, just going to start up my own property rental company. I cant purchase another house under my name, so why not create some numbered company, grab some cash from the gov and nab a few more houses. This will mean sweet tax write-offs, and if it all goes down the shitter I keep my properties, declare bankruptcy and only lose what the business owned. I would never let that happen, but its nice to know I can do this risk free for the most part.

I only do what I have to, to get the things I want done. There is always a balance in this wonderful thing we call life. Everything in life can be broken down into a net gain comparison with a break-even point. You can do a little bit more, but is it worth it?

Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

And in business, its always easy to see the equilibrium. In life? Not so easy. Ha.

Lick My Nuts CT!!!!

2006-10-26T10:43:00.000-07:00

I take everything for granted as much as I possibly can....Or at least I've now slowly come to realize this.

I am also a firm believer in "If you ignore the problem it will just go away" too...

These work wonders for somethings, and cause nothing but trouble in other areas.

My car for example.....I don't know if its possible to be more aloof to an object that one is suppose to take pride in. There has been a problem with my brakes for quite sometime now. The problem being they are worn down to the bolts and every time I stop you can feel them tearing into the rotors. This is amplified by the loud grinding sound heard commonly amongst 1987 Oldsmobile drivers in the Northern East end of Hamilton.

I figured I would ride these out until I started going through red lights. I actually witnessed this last week. Some asshole in a pickup truck locked his wheels, went right through the red, and made his turn while being locked-up the whole time. It was like he was a professional at this?

I also needed an oil change and my one headlight was out...Enough was enough.

I headed over to Crappy-Tire to get the oil changed, headlight replaced, and just a heads up on what needed to be done with my brakes. The estimate for my brakes was $550 bucks...See the title of my post.

Are you kidding me...$550 bucks. I don't think so....So, for $134.95 I picked up the parts myself and with the help of a friend put them in. There isn't much to doing your brakes, but there is some repercussions if you do this incorrectly ahahaha.

So I saved a bundle, but if you read about a smoldering pile of ash on the side of the road that once resembled a Grand Am with a unidentifiable twink behind the wheel...Just know that I was already cursing myself with the phrase: "Well, are yah happy now? Where are you going to spend that extra cash now dumbass"

HAhaha, CT can still lick my nuts.

I am lucky...

2006-10-25T11:49:00.000-07:00

I am lucky for many reasons, but one would have to be my family. Despite a few funny situations we are all pretty lucky to have each other. My Father and my one Uncle are not the best of friends at times, and Id have to say my Mother does not get along so well with my Grandmother. Other then that we are disgustingly normal, protective, and loving. And even those two other situations never really see the light of day...More of a behind the scenes kinda thing.

Anyways....Why am I so lucky? Well, I still have all four of my Grandparents. I think I can only name a few others at the age of 26 to be in this situation.

However, they are getting older and this will not last forever. My dads Mom is in the hospital this week to take care of a blood clot they found in her. I think she's going to be ok, but it was scary to think she would leave this place....She has lived a good life to say the least. An amazing strong-minded women that does not take no for an answer. It is her way, or no way at all!!! But she managed to have this attitude and still come off with a heart of gold somehow. Never met a person quite like her. Perhaps why my Grandfather could not live without her. I am worried about him too if she passes. Im basically scared for both of them...I have this feeling that if one goes, the other will follow shortly.

This would not be the same situation on my mothers side....Remember "The Neverending Story"? Ya my grandparents on my Moms side are that midget scientist couple with Falcor as a pet. I think they would enjoy the peace and quite ahhahahaha.

Anyways, my thoughts are out there for you Big Grandma....

Hey, give me a hand here?

2006-10-23T17:17:00.000-07:00

Well I went to Toronto again....But this time around I actually behaved myself.

I was out with my cousin, my sister, and some of her friends. Everyone in this group is a little older so it wasn't going to be one of those crazy nights anyways. We ended up downtown at a dance bar called Montanas. I have been to this place once before, but it was like 3 years ago now?

Its a restaurant on the main floor, and then upstairs is split into two separate rooms with different music going in both. I danced my ass off to top 40 crap in the one room, and made an ass of myself dancing to country in the other part.

There is also a roof top patio part for smokers...That is where the only other time I've been here comes into play.

PDA's....Never really been a fan of that, but in the right situation it just seems natural. However, there are boundaries for this sort of thing. The last time I was here I was put into one of the most unusual situations I've ever been in.

Im sitting at a table with a large group of our friends and beside me is my girl friend at the time. This is the only time I've ever dated a sorority girl. I could write a short novel on this relationship....Funniest break up ever. Anyways, lets just say this girl was not shy....At all....So here I am surrounded by my friends and she starts giving me a hand if you know what I mean. It was damn cold that night, and her hands were like isicles...Needless to say this didn't feel very good. So not only am I nervous as hell that at any second this little fiasco could be brought to the attention of everyone there, but Im not even enjoying this...I look over at her and she's got this devilish smile on her face so I pretend this is fun and don't say anything....Terrible.

Lesson to be learned here, there is a time and a place for everything....

A similar situation happened in Australia with a stripper who was traveling around with us in our van....Different outcome. haha. Again, time and a place...

"Whats his name? Yah get him out of here". Oh Pornfield...

Wham, Bam, Thank you Ma'am

2006-10-19T16:38:00.000-07:00

Leave it to me to make something like this happen.

A girl at my office has a friend who recruits people to enter into marketing research groups. Some of these groups are specific to a person in my line of work, purchasing. They get paid by the head so any warm body with my title nets them a few bucks. Being the nice guy that I am, and a fan of a quick buck, I allowed her to put my name on the call out list.

Yesterday I was off sick from work when I got a call from this lady.

"Hello John, would you be interested in participating in a focus group on telecommunications today?"

"Yes, yes I would"

It wasn't till later in the day so I didn't feel guilty about going to this and not work. I knew I was going into work today come rain or shine anyways...I am sure my boss was ready to cut my balls off. I was still hacking and coughing up crap that could stop bullets today, but I had to go.

Anyways, I hopped in my car and took a nice relaxing drive down to Toronto. I then took my time finding some free parking (God Im cheap) and made my way over to the "something and something" tower.

I figured out where suite 804 was, popped my head in to find this staring back at me:

I searched for awhile to find a picture to do this receptionist justice, and this is what I came up with. Pretty damn close.

The deal is I watch some video, answer a few questions, and then enter into a group discussion with the other purchasers about what we've just been presented. This whole process is suppose to take roughly 2 hours. At the end we are handed 150 bucks in a nice white envelope and sent packing.

I sat in the waiting room with the other buyers who are all like twice my age. Being the only one born remotely close to the same decade as the receptionist I chatted her up to pass the time.

We finally sign some forms, and are told to make our way into the board room....Everyone but me? WTF....Did I spell my name wrong? Oh god...Do I have to like mediate, or mark, or what...What's going on here??

Nope...The nice receptionist comes back and explains they've simply booked too many people for the test and I was last one booked in. So she handed me 150 bucks, thanked me for my time, and was allowed to be on my way...ahhaha.

So, I drove to T.O....starred at some fake boobs, ate some free cookies, and for my efforts I was handed 150 dollars.

God Bless America!!!

So I went on a date

2006-10-18T10:30:00.000-07:00

Its been ages....I don't even know the last time I went out on a "date".

What do you talk about? Where do you go? What do you wear? Just be yourself, or try and figure out what works for now and then subject them to the real you ahha.

I wasn't feeling well so I was considering bailing on the dinner, but decided to suck it up, and throw caution to the wind. She'll either like me the way I am or not. So I showed up whacked off tylenol sinus and neo-citron and offered her the real me.

Apparently this worked....No idea where this is going, or where I want it to go, but more dates to come.

Thank God Im sick as it gave me the get of jail free card on the awkward "do you give the kiss good night or not" question.

Blows my mind

2006-10-12T07:29:00.000-07:00

This thought was inspired by the unfortunate plane crash that happened yesterday afternoon in New York.

Isnt it interesting that something can happen on the complete other side of the world and we can hear about it 10 minutes later in a news ticker on www.cnn.com. Doesnt even really matter how important it is sometimes. Someone told someone that someone heard about a guy that was party to a group of people that heard Osama Bin Ladin took a shit yesterday. Wonderful....That's right up there with what Michael Jackson is doing on the list of things I don't care about.

This plane crash for instance....Did not affect my friends, did not affect my family, didn't affect my place of work, my city, my province, or even my bloody country. Yet, it is the headline of the day because its a plane that went into a building...How stupid is that? This poor guys death (I heard he was a pitcher for the Yankees?) will be overshadowed by talks of potential terrorism.

My question is why is this stuff pumped out over the air-waves? Why does it matter?

My point is...It doesn't. To 99.9% of the people out there things like this do not matter. It will not affect their daily life what so ever....So why broadcast it like crazy? Just to stir up talks of 911 all over again? To create more fear? Way to go guys.

OR

Do events like this matter? Does the sweet old lady who hears about this poor guy dying for no good reason get sad and tired. Does it cause her to tell her grand daughter not to come by that day because she would like to lay down, and to reschedule their game of scrabble for another day. Does this in turn allow her grand daughter to stay home and watch her younger brother so that her older sister can go out and party hardy that night? Does this give the older sister the opportunity to meet some guy at a concert and get invited to the after party? On route to the party is it possible that the guy has had to much to drink at the show and crashes their car into a minivan carrying a family home from a visit at the wives parents? Did the sister and the intoxicated guy happen to kill the women who was pregnant with the future president of the United States that was going to take a stand and do his best to turn around this backwards society we have all help to build? Is it all connected like that?

To me....It didn't really mean a thing. I feel bad for his family and friends, but I feel even worse for the people who have to sleep at night knowing that its their job to promote this stuff.

Rant...Over. Ha.

Is it just me?

2006-10-11T10:48:00.000-07:00

Or does hotmail have no f'ing clue what time it is?

When I get emails and am curious about the time these were sent there is no way of knowing. Why? Because hotmails internal clock is messed up. I get an email from someone at 2pm and it said It was sent at 5am. It makes no sense...

Also, this 30 day activation thing was a bit of a piss off. I mean those forwards were going around for ever saying they would shut down hotmail if you didn't forward this on, or send this person money, or get naked and run around the office...But this time it actually happened and I wasn't ready for it. I had a pretty much every email that was ever sent to me in my life stored in a few different accounts that Id started over the years. I only really use one now, but the others had funny old emails that I might have liked to read again someday....buuuuuuutt nooooo they are all gone now. Oh well.

C'est la vie...

Highlights

2006-10-10T11:11:00.000-07:00

So much happened this weekend that I cant even bother to pick out one thing to talk about.

-Dinner and a movie Friday night
-Wedding Saturday night
-Annual walk with the family somewhere in there
-2.5 turkey dinners
-Hockey game with the boys
-Watching kids carve out pumpkins...Its amazing how much fun pumpkin guts are to kids for the first time.
-Three-wheeling it through fields at dusk.

For some reason the last one was the best of them all. I haven't been on one of those things in ages. I think the last time was quite memorable for me, and is why I enjoyed the ride so much. It was probably 7 years ago when my girl friend at the time was driving us back from her tree fort after having Tarzan and Jane sex. hahhaha. We saw a coyote on the way back, and I distinctly remember having this dumb smirk on my face and grinning away at the thing as we rode past.

Was a great weekend...

Oh, got a text message my from tenant several minutes after I had called to see what the freaking deal was.

"Don't reply to this message (please) Im with Keith all weekend, sorry I haven't called sooner, yes I like the other place and will be out on the 14th, My dad was suppose to call you. I will be in touch this week, thanks for being so understanding"

Does this sound like someone who is 29?

Ahhhhh home sweet home...

2006-10-05T07:58:00.000-07:00

It was hockey night in Canada last night for two reasons. The NHL started up for us leaf fans, and it was my first real game in over 3 years. I played in university but then dropped off the map with the sport. Lack time? Lack of motivation? Who knows...What's important now is that I'm playing again. I missed the game to be quite honest.

I had forgotten what it felt like to be a part of this world. The terrible smell in the locker room, the porno up in the rink-rats office (this is still there, but has been modernized as I saw the guy looking at porn on this computer), and the beers afterwards.

After I saw the guy looking at this on his computer I thought to myself, man get some class... At least close the blinds for Christ sake, there's little kids running around. Then I went to put on my jersey and noticed the only one I had in my bag was the team I played for in Uni...Its a picture of a girls legs spread open with our team name in the middle .... Snatch.... hahaha. Perhaps I am guilty of having no class myself. But whatever, this is hockey and there is no room for that sort of thing here anyways...

We tied our first game, and I even got some points so I was happy about that. I died half way through the game though, so getting in shape will now become key because I hate to lose.

Things also worthy of note:

-I got an email from my boss today saying I was number 2 on the absenteeism list!!

-My house is starting to look more like a home, rather then a waste land of forgotten furniture.

-My great uncles old "home" of 30 some odd years was pretty much blown up yesterday by ligtening...

-Have another wedding to attend on Saturday, so Im pumped about that!

.....Oh and my tenant is still stupid....Just thought Id throw that in there. haha.

What goes around comes around...

2006-10-03T12:45:00.000-07:00

I have been handed a monkey wrench...Now depending on how I handle this it could be a good thing, or it could be very, very shitty.

My tenant in my old house fell in love with the place the second she saw it. The lease was signed almost the next day with her fathers approval.

She was single at this point....

3 weeks later the ex is back in the picture and is now involved in this whole situation. She had sent me a text one day asking when she could get the keys...I wrote back hours later saying what ever worked for her. Buddy is around when I send this and he gets pissed. So now he hates this whole situation, and me for just being a guy I suppose. She even came out and said he's just jealous that I have houses at this age and blah blah blah. She assured me this would not be a problem just as long as I was not at the house fixing stuff without him there.

Weird....But fine....

Move in day comes and goes. I meet the guy and he seems nice enough. We all have a few beers and a few laughs and I make me way back to my new house.

I get a call the next day from her saying she cant live there anymore and would like to back out of the lease.

Holyf balls....Like why didn't this occur to you the other 3 times you came by to see the place.

When I came over to talk about it all with her and her father she claimed the neighborhood was the problem. This I buy...But when her dad left she said she just couldn't handle the stress of her bf giving her a hard time about me. That sounds like a great relationship...Im not some guy at a bar trying to bang her...Im her landlord, and unless he is worried about some terrible B movie scenario happening where I come over to clean out her "pipes" he's got some issues.

****I do not want to date your girl friend buddy!!****

Now being the pushover that I am I think I am going to let her out of the lease for several reasons.

1) She is not happy. I would not like her to be unhappy in this place...I was born without that asshole gene somehow. Well, depends who you ask I suppose.

2) I still get to keep first and last months rent plus damages...So if I find someone right away I score $700.

3) Karma...I bought a BMW by mistake on eBay once, and the guy was nice enough to let me out of it. I believe I owe somebody one...And this nice girl just happened to be in the right place at the right time.

I am now officially a landlord.

Bloody surfs giving me shit....hahaha

This just in...Girls don't really like guys with beards!

2006-10-02T09:29:00.000-07:00

They tolerate them I think...but do not like them.

How do I know this? Well, I have been conducting some very scientific research you see. Ive been rocking this bad boy of a beard for I don't even know how long now. I shave it off periodically, scream bloody murder, and then grow it right back. This time however, I shaved it off for the most part and have kept it off...I have a little 5 o'clock shadow thing going on.

Girls do not approach me when Im out, and I do not bother approaching them...I just don't care, and it seems neither do they...or do they?

Since the beard shaving I think I have been hit on about 7 or 8 times. Now normally this would not be post worthy, but this shit just doesn't happen to me that often out of the blue.

And the only reason why I bother mentioning it is because it almost killed me this weekend.

I was in Toronto for a engagement party for two old friends. Awesome people....I think Im in love with the groom-to-be. Anyways, apparently I caught the eye of one girl there...I guess she had asked about me...She was cute and seemed nice, but I did nothing about it.

The night goes on and everyone is drinking more now...Apparently a lot more because while I was leaning over a railing talking to my friend Will and the guy from LEN (steal my sunshine...remember that song?) I had my ass obliterated. hahaha. Let me explain, I was slapped rather hard and did nothing about it as I figured it was one of my good friends...And I was in mid convo anyways...When I did nothing this apparently sent a signal to other person to unleash hell on my butt...hahaha. I finally turn around to question the need for the spanking only to find out it was not one of my friends, it is some rowdy girl whom I have barely even said hello to at this point in my life. Ha...Someone needs to get laid.

After the beating, I figured Id go roof top to get some fresh air. While I was up there I was introduced to another girl who seemed to be hilarious...So we chatted for awhile until it was time to go our separate ways.

Half the crowd went back to the studio with that LEN guy to record some tracks, and the other half went home to crash. As we are making our way down the stairs from the pub to split the girl from the roof top decides to show her affection by football tackling me at the top of the stairs....This was a bad bad idea....hahaha we went ass over end all the way down until we crashed into a few other people...

So ya, I think girls dig the no beard look...News to me..haha. Not really, but oh well.

Maybe I should just grow my beard back....Its safer.

I've got another quarter...

2006-09-28T15:03:00.000-07:00

Not to drop heavies, but I have had the most insane week ever...

So nuts that I had to take some time off work to deal with this. I got through what I needed to Tuesday at the office, and have been off since.

Im basically starting over again.

- I move into my new house this week.
- Several new job offerings have come out of the blue.
- Made some serious realizations after I was explained how "pathetic" I was being.
- And last but not least, went through the biggest life altering experience I have ever had. I do not even think it has sunk in yet. It will probably hit me 7 years down the road on some idle Tuesday night.

So ya, life is pretty nutty at the moment, but most of it is good.

Oh man, not again.

2006-09-24T11:39:00.001-07:00

Cowboy Johnny

PLUS

Soccer hooligan Pegg

EQUALS:

It was a friend of ours birthday celebration on Friday. For the day they rented a huge SUV limo to take us down to Toronto for the BlueJays game. There was 10 of us in total for the game.

This would be the Birthday boy

Everyone got stocked up for the ride down so shots of whatever you needed were flying left, right, and center.

crazylimo

You actually might be able to guess what Leanne is doing here....or not....

Anyways, to the retarded part of the night. We roll up the Skydome about 2 innings late, find our seats, and start to annoy everyone around us. I took one look at Pegg and we were gone about 2 pitches later.

The two of us didn't even watch the game. We were running around the Skydome drinking the whole time. Pegg had this hard-on to get up to the 300 level. This is where all the press, owners, and private boxes are.

While we were attempting to charm are way into some other restricted bar we found another fellow in a similar state. This guy was your typical Toronto young money frat guy, but he was also funny as hell.

We explained our goal....He said follow me and that was that. He lead us to this backdoor that had just been used by a security guard so it was just about to close, but this guy nabbed it Indian Jones style. Ha.

Its pretty nice on the 300 level let me tell you. What now? Well....We started door by door going into the private booths looking for a party. Everyone was mostly doing their own thing and wanted nothing to do with us. One door was awesome....The new guy opens the door and the room is filled with women. These could have been the players wives for all we know. This is where this guy made me howl...He takes one look at the situation and comes up with this:

"Hello ladies, someone order male entertainment??"

You had your pseudo business man, your cowboy, and your soccer player?

Hahaha, we all had a quick laugh about that, and then we were kindly told to be on our way.

Next stop was the VIP bar...We figured we were safe here and could just blend in while we got a pint and watched the end of the game we had completely missed. Keep in mind Im wearing a cowboy hat....I didn't exactly blend in. hahahaha.

Half way through our pints we are approached by security....

"Umm who are you guys? Are you suppose to be here"

"Why of course we are....umm..uhh..."

"Thats it!! You guys are out of here"

*** So that was that..We managed to get kicked out of the Skydome ***

So there is the option to wait like 15 minutes for the game to end, pile back in the limo, and head back to Burlington to party....But I don't think we even considered it. hahahaha. We headed straight downtown to find some clubs.

We decided to try out Tonic night club. In a stroke of dumb luck we get in there and all the girls behind the bar are dressed up like cowgirls.

"HEY!! Check out this guy, how did you know it was cowboy night?""

hahaha I was an unintentional hit. Too funny.

We grew tired of this club and tried out another one, Republik. Not exactly sure what time we made our exit from there, but as I was enjoying my delicious street meat it came to my attention that I was enjoying by myself...

Holyfuck....Not again. There isn't even a house to line up the C.N.Tower with this time!!!

I made a few useless phone calls that went nowhere...And decided to exercise option B from the last time this happened. I curled up to some pavement outside of Union station and waited for it open at 5:30am. I caught the first train back at 6:43am without having a clue what happened to Pegg. Apparently he realized he was alone and took a cab back to Burlington. hahahaha. Minus his credit card and drivers license.

Oh Toronto.....The things I do with you.

No more Fitzer...

2006-09-20T09:32:00.000-07:00

Well the wedding came and went for my old highschool friends...I wont bother with stories this time around as the last post was long enough.

The maids

The couple

The bride

My lovely date

The initial buzz hitting at 6:30

Funniest table at the wedding handsdown

Definitely feeling it now hahaah Im not exactly sure what dance move Im doing.

Was a great wedding...

Just John

2006-09-18T21:16:00.000-07:00

Ha, I use to always get the third degree from my friends parents when I would reply, "oh, its just John calling" after they'd ask whom they were speaking to on then phone when I called.

I guess that is how I work. I do not think I am anything special to worry about. I do have an underlining notion of being a good person with a few things to do in this world, but I am no saint/king/god. I was put into a rather unique situation as a child though; I am John Macnamara the 5th. There's 2-5 there. Kinda neat.

Every first born son is given the name John to be carried down until the line runs out. To add to this, the last couple of them have done pretty damn well for themselves. This in turn does put pressure on me to do so. Yes, I know its gay, and I should just live my life without worrying about living up to other peoples expectations....But, you try this life out and tell me how to ignore that completely.

I have done well for the most part ignoring that part of my life. I partied as hard as I could, tried everything once, and regretted nothing.

My father is a fairly black and white type of person with a "my way, or the highway" kind of attitude. We did not see "eye to eye" on a lot of things...And I mean a lot. When he found my briefcase full of pot, scales, bags and money...ya he was not impressed. hahaha. So lets just say I have a small problem with authority. I was always given rules and guidelines with no rhyme or reason. That was just how things were to be done....And of course....Being a little more risk adverse and slightly more creative I never wanted to do things his way. I always knew I wanted end up with a life like they have built for themselves, but there was no way in hell I was doing it their way.

I do not think any of the Johns were ruthless, or snobs, or assholes. Sometimes that's the picture that is painted when you have money kicking around. You either squashed the little guy to get there, or through a stroke of dumb luck found yourself there, don't really feel confident being there, so you flaunt what you've got to make up for what you don't really have..."Worth"...

My way.....

I struggled a bit in regards to the direction of my life. A big part of me believes the best things in life are free. I am happy sitting on a wooden bench in the park listening to the birds...Or floating in a lake looking up at the sky a few minutes after your balls pop back out due to the temperature. I think my all time favorite thing to do in the world is watching the rain fall in the summer time. Thunder storms pretty much kick ass. Ha.

Another big part of me knows these moments are more readily available when you are financially sound. When you're working two shit jobs to try and keep your head above water there is not much time to take your kid to the park, let alone breathe. Im a Taurus, and being secure is like a drug to me. I have peace of mind when I know what's going on, and everything is in its place.

That being said, I know what I want out of this life, and I know how to get it...I think the big thing I wanted to do in this life was to get all of that, without devoting my character to rules and guidelines. I do not need my son to become a rocket scientist, or a brain surgeon. If that's what they want, great. I do not even need him to obtain what I know I will. I have done things this way to show that it is possible to get everything you've ever wanted or needed through hard work and determination. Yes, A lot of people think I'm lazy, but its not entirely true. I sweat my balls of in Dofasco, numbed my mind in Ford, and worked in this stupid company for 2.5 years just because I did not want to look like a flight risk. Why do it this way?? Just to show there is no need for pressure in this world. As long as you are happy and have your light at the end of the tunnel then that is all you really need, the rest will fall into place.

The point of this post:

I think I've made it in their eyes, which means a lot to me...This weekend my grandparents were in town. We had a nice family dinner on Friday, full of good food, wine, and stories. My family is pretty interesting at times....Lots of different view points and politics...Keeps you on your toes. Ha.

In the morning the Johns went golfing and the ladies did brunch I think.

While driving with my grandfather I filled him on all the things I've been doing. For the first time ever I think he looked at me with proud eyes. I was always just a kid to him, which is all I should have been anyways. I could tell in the past he and my father were worried about my direction what with all the tattoos and piercings. But now? Now I think he looks at me as someone to carry on the tradition.

Hahaha they hated those.

This long winded story could probably have been summed up by simply saying I've finally sold out and lived up to what my family has always wanted since the day I was born....ahhah, but I do not see it that way. I am now in a spot where my life makes sense. Everything is coming together and its starting to work out the way I thought it would.

I think I am ready to get my next, and final tattoo.

If you remember I have a scroll down my leg that has been left empty.

Well I know what I want in there...As I feel a huge chapter of my life is complete, and a new one is starting, I think a tree inside the scroll is what I want.

This tree will depict starting over again with new life coming from the roots of the tree that represent my stupid ass being more grounded and stationary.

The tree will also be used as a family tree. So I will add names as time passes.

This is also my little scam to not really stop getting tats hahaha.

And then there were two

2006-09-13T14:09:00.000-07:00

This blog is slowly but surely becoming an unofficial fan website for Bedouin.

After the sweet time I had when the boys came to McMaster I planned on going to see them play frosh week at Fanshawe College in London. The thought was to get a whole bunch of people to go down and rock out with our cocks out. This plan went from 10, to 7, to 5, and finally ended up with 2....My brother....and I.

So it was a family road trip then. We made it to London around 7 for some drinks with an old friend; then it was off to find Pat because I screwed up and didn't get in touch with him before we got to London.

How do you find the main band at a college frosh week show?

Well.....We didn't really know what the hell to do.

We tried the main entrance and asked security if they could get in touch with the guys. Nothing doing there...Then we tried the guest list to see if by chance Pat had put me down without really asking him to do so...nothing doing there. Tried looking around for the tour bus, but could only find a couple of cube vans and an air port bus. We assumed this was what they rolled up with, but no one was around.

WTF...Poor Dave, the guy just wanted to see them because he missed out in Toronto.

Oh, and the line up to get a ticket?...ya that was insanely retarded. So we weren't waiting in that....

"F it.....Lets just go home"

As we hung our heads in shame to make our way home I opened the door to be greeted by someone I couldn't quite remember. It was the bands manager...f'ing right.

"Come with me boys"

And that was it....The Macnamaras were back stage drinking beers with the band, and got to watch the show from the side stage. This show was even f'ing better then the other two for some reason. These guys keep getting better and better. Stalefish was the opening act (they rock), and the second attraction was this duet, Sebastian and something...I dunno...one guy playing guitar...and one girl signing...amazing...just amazing.

After the show was more beers and food. Its funny to see how people treat these guys now...A select handful of individuals running the school were able to make special requests to have their daughters come in and meet the band, and the guys have no real choice but to say yes. They are not even that famous and you could tell this wears on them already. Ha. I guess eventually if you get big enough you get to say no to these types of things.

1am rolls around and I have to work in the morning...Wonderful...There is also a mild monsoon going on outside; so passing trucks on the highway leaves me with enough visibility that you simply cross your fingers and hope for the best. ahhaha.

C.N(orthstar)Tower

2006-09-12T13:51:00.000-07:00

This takes the cake of my stupid nights out in Toronto.

We arrive at our friends house around 7:30pm to start off the birthday celebration for an old university roommate. I take a glance at the C.N.Tower, and make a comment about how cool it looks from this angle.

The partying gets under way, and at the peak we were looking at like 10-15 people I think. Everyone was mostly concentrated around the kitchen as they had a balance board out. If I fail miserably to describe this correctly feel free to beat me with a wet noodle. Anyways, there's a cylinder on the ground, and you're SUPPOSE to balance on the flat board piece. One got up and was juggling while doing this. Yours truly gets up for all of .000012347 seconds and sends the board flying and me crashing to the ground with a bottle of wine in my hands.

I have figured out what my stupid human trick is. Getting myself into ridiculous situations while holding a drink and not spilling.

After everyone is nice and loaded we make our way downtown to the bars. Somehow everyone goes 5 different directions and everything is just a big fat blurry mess.

How in Gods name this worked out, I don't know; but, at the end of the night it is just this one girl Christine and I looking for her two friends: Meagan, and George (singer from Alexisonfire). We make our way over to this one place and manage to find these guys. A few more drinks were had and its suddenly like 3am.

We pile out of the bar and all hop into a cab. George kindly puts it to me like this "Umm were going back to the tour bus which is heading to London, this might not work for you". Hahaha, no, no it wont.

Christine is passed out cold so shes going to London and doesn't even know it.

I explain to them that I need to get to get back to Matts place and will be on my way. So we stop the cab and I get out. I jump out downtown....wave goodbye, and start walking towards Matts place.

Wait, I don't know where Matt lives..I know, I'll just call them and figure out where they live...Shit....No phone, left it at home cause Im an idiot...

Im all alone, hammed, no phone, no idea where my friends are, totally lost in Toronto...and its 3:30am...Sweet.

Options...Walk to the Go station and pull up a bench beside John Doe....Or....Try and locate Matts house based on the location of the C.N.Tower.

So, I start heading North West in hopes of getting a view of tower that duplicates what I saw earlier, logically this would put me at Matts place.

Well it worked....2 hours later.

ahhahah, its Tuesday and my legs are still sore from the marathon...

BONG!!!!!

2006-09-11T09:32:00.000-07:00

I visited the Toyota plant in Cambridge last week. Now, for anyone who's been out in that neck of the woods you have to know its retarded. Its on the other side of the 401 which in my mind is Kitchener...but once you are in Kitchener you are pretty much in Waterloo...Bunch of useless tits were in charge of that urban-mishap.

Anyways,

I use to work at ford back in the day...This is what ford looks like to me now after seeing Toyota.

How in Gods name do they even pretend to compete??? I don't know why they even bother. Toyota is non-unionized, has better management, and has a better product.

Hell, they have one line that is 94% automated...They even have a robotic delivery system run in a KanBan style. Version for dummies: f'ing robots bring you the parts as you need them.

After the visit, I took most of the day trying to think up something useful out in my plant. I do not get much time to do this as I am constantly busy with mindless BS, playing the middle man between 8 people, or talking on MSN. Ha. I also don't get much time to do this because its not my job, and Id just be stealing peoples thunder by doing so....Although I have come up with a few show stoppers...Some people get excited, and the others just get pissed that it wasn't their idea.

I came up with an solution for one of our waste problems. It was actually pretty sweet when you think about it. Instead of calling in a waste removal company for some of our more hazardous material, we can simply pump it out ourselves into a baking tank, where it can dry, and then be bagged, and dumped into one of our bins.

I ran this by the big guy and hes response was:

"BONG!!!!"

This is when you know you are in good hands.

Hi.....Im John

2006-09-06T14:18:00.001-07:00

Well let me tell you folks, it just does not get any easier then this.

I got a call from Pornfield saying Bedouin was playing the Mcmaster frosh week show Tuesday night. I honestly had no idea, but the show was free and I'm always up for a good performance. Plus, I knew this would be slightly informal so there would be a chance to catch up with Pat.

We arrived early to campus so we headed over to the bar for a few warm-up pints. I do not know what they put in those pints...but my god, it got me a little while later.

We had a pretty decent spot on the hill, and the place was rammed. Frosh are like 17 and 18....its ridiculous. But, I think they brought out a mixed crowd as you could tell people from all years were there.

Once again they put on an awesome show. This was more of their scene...They got to play to the crowd a bit more, and played songs not normally done.

During the set a couple of dumbasses stormed the stage and unplugged Jays guitar and mic. After he got himself back up and running he gave a little rant to the crowd:

"Hey, just wanted to say one thing here. A moment ago you might have noticed a couple of guys jumped up on stage and unplugged me...Well let me tell you my guess on who those guys were....Frat guys....They thought they'd come up on stage, pull a prank, get noticed, and maybe impress a few ladies...And maybe some of you ladies were impressed, and that's great...But let me tell you one thing about Frat guys....No one likes Frat guys...At the end of the day, everyone knows Frat guys are lame...and its the fucking truth....So why don't you go back to the bar and enjoy your top 40 crap..."

hahahahaah It was f'ing priceless.

The show went on and it rocked....The crowd was really into it. I had to take a brief leave of absence...Due to those beers I think...ahhaha. Just terrible.

Anyways, the show ended and the boys jumped ship to the tour bus. Porn and I made our way over to see if I could say hello. There was a group of people crowded around the bus wanting autographs. I managed to get Pats attention which got me and Porn invited onto the bus for beers with the boys.

So we drank our beers, had some of free pizza, listened to some tunes, and then made our way to the campus bar. We were getting snuck in the back door when they guys were recognized along the way.

"hey, hey...There's the Bedouin!!"

ahahha.

They stopped and chatted up a few girls...My God, the bedroom eyes these girls had was too funny. As the introductions were happening they turned to me and instead of simply saying I wasn't really with the band I lived like a rock star for a second and replied "Hi...Im John" ahhahaah. It would have been like shooting fish in a barrel.

Anyways, had another beer in the bar with the guys, and then went our separate ways as Jay wasn't feeling the crowd....Bloody rockstars.

Going to London on Tuesday for more rockstar treatment ahha.

It seems God was listening...

2006-09-05T09:42:00.000-07:00

I noicted this blog was not so random....and I think God did too as he made my day on Sunday.

Out of the blue I ended up going fishing with my neighbours. We were casting off lines by the pier looking for anything that would bite. I caught anywhere from 10-15 fish..I just stopped counting as they were little guys, but still fun to catch.

All three of us were standing on a dock at one point casting into the weeds for cat fish. One particular cast is the reason for this post. The stars had to align for this one....the dude hooked himself a seagull in mid flight by accident.

The thing struggled in mid-air for a bit, kinda looked like he was floating actually haha, then he slowly spiraled down into the water. The three of us stood there for a second...did that really just happen? hahaha. We reeled him in and brought him up on the dock while we got him untangled. What was surprising was how calm the thing was...

Finally got him free and threw him back into the sea.....er.....air....

The next hour of fishing was full of comfortable silence, only to be broken up with:

"Dude......I cought a fucking Seagull"

HAHAahahhahahaah

Best show ever

2006-09-04T11:57:00.001-07:00

Now when you know you're going to be outside in the rain for 5 to 6 hours you are usually not happy about this idea. Such were my initial thoughts about the show I was going to on Saturday: Bedouin Soundclash, Damian Marley, and Ben Harper.

My brother bought tickets in April...That's how badly he wanted to see Bedouin on the big stage for the first time. A bunch of people quit at his place so he was forced to pick up the slack. My sister also bailed on the show so the atmosphere of the entire night was changed. Instead of the family, and one other friend from the old camp, it was me and three of the camp girls. I had no complaints about this as they are all hilarious.

Bedouin went on at 5 which I thought was weird. Sure Damian had a famous dad, but WTF...I had never even heard of the guy until we got the tickets. It was still cool to see them up there doing there thing regardless of the order. Pat keeps a steady sick head bobbing beat going while the front liners do their thing. I hope these boys keep going.

After Bedouin finished up is when the show got interesting for me....Which is weird because I really only went to see them. Damian Marley puts on one HELL of a live show....No F'ING clue what the hell this guy was saying, but the vibe was there...He did a couple of his dads songs too which made the crowd go nuts.

At this point I think I was on $12 dollar beer number 3 or 4 when they concluded their set. Which meant I really really really needed to take a piss...Picture 3,000 other people in the same situation. So instead of waiting in line in the rain freezing my ass off, I headed up to the back fence in the lawn, found some people with a tarp, and convinced them to stand in front of me so security did not toss me out. ha. Worked like a charm.

On said mission is when I bumped into some old high school friends, some of my brothers friends, and some people who were not my friends. haah. I saw this one girl whom I thought I knew from back in the Tremblant trip days.

"hey!! how are you!?!?"

"ummm"

"humm, its John!!, you're from Milton right"

"no"

"(in head, what the hell...I swear I know this girl)"

"umm your names Adrian right?"

"yes"

"rrrrrrrrrrright still not ringing a bell eh, well enjoy the show!!!"

What are the odds she looks like a girl and know and has the same weird name. If her name was Julie or something I could understand that better...S.O.B.

Anyways,

The grand finale of this show was Ben Harper...I have seen him live about 3 times now with this show being the fourth one...This was the best show hands down. I don't know if it was the company, or the beer, or the fact that the whole place was packed and still rocking out in the pouring rain, or what....But I have never seen him play slide guitar like he did that day. It wasn't even the fact that it was mind-blowingly difficult; it was just his timing, and the delivery...At every moment it was kinda like oh man I don't know how much sweeter this can get, and then it just got better...I think I was having a moment or something.

Hands down the best show Id ever seen. It put me in such a good mood...I was loving life..And feeling sentimental...So in a bonehead maneuver I called the ex. The new guy picked up the phone and I immediately turned into "the champ" from Q107. I think my words were something to the effect of him sucking, and that I would like to have the opportunity to rearrange his face for him.

HAhahaahah....Smooth John, real smooth.

Oh well....Was one hell of a night.

A poor showing....

2006-08-31T13:43:00.000-07:00

It has come to my attention that my blog is not living up to its name...

There is nothing really random about it. My behavior use to resemble that of someone with borderline schizophrenia, showing no particular method to the madness of it all. Yes, bizarre nonsense still manages to find me around every corner; but, the nonsense all seems to be the same now. Its either something incredibly shitty happens in my neighborhood, or I go out on a drinking binge only to wake up with no recollection of the nights events.

Well on this subject I might as well spit out this humdinger of a story...

I came home one day to see every gathered on my neighbors porch. It was explained to me that the new girl on the street slept with some guy while her boy friend was at home with the two little kids. To top this all off she went home, told him what she did, and the slapped the living daylights out of this guy....hes face was destroyed....

I think my reaction was a slow confused mathematically questioning of the event...

"You mean she???....With him???....And.....He???....And then she????....Whaaa?!?!"

It was like a calculus question that had no real answer...

Anyways, enough of that....This needs to be more random.

I thought up this question last week: Is it possible to be scarffing down the last of a solid chocolate "insert any animal name here", pause, and think to yourself you need a glass of milk to make this that much sweeter, and actually make it to fridge to pour this tall glass of goodness before you finish the 1/4 lb of chocolate you have in your mouth?? I don't think its possible....I have tried this many a time and always end up inhaling 96% of it before I get to the milk.

Next, the debate between big business and protecting the little guy has got no clear winner in my mind. There are too many advantages to both to just pick one and say this is the best way. However, I would like to make a formal request to "THE MAN" to merge all and any debit card companies together. Why? I would like there to be one, and only one, universal machine. I am tired of looking like a dumbass in front of the nice girl behind the counter when I slide the card the wrong way. Yes, there are sometimes directions on it, but even the way they explain this is not consistent. Please fix this...Thank you.

And last, but not least....I bought another house.

Oh, this is also my horoscope for the day:

Willow trees survive storms, whereas sturdier types, like the oak, topple over. Why? Because willows are exceptionally flexible. They bend, then go back up. Take this information to heart right now.

I find it very fitting....

This also "helps"...

Great song...

The exception to the rule

2006-08-28T13:47:00.000-07:00

This would be the one time I wish someone in my life was flamingly gay.

I switched insurance companies because the last one jacked it up from 90 a month, to 150. That is insane people....Most peoples parents do not pay that much for their humble abodes.

So naturally I went shopping for another insurance company...This was no easy task as everyone was quoting me the same ridiculous numbers. I think I went through about 10 of them before I found my diamond in the rough. This guy quoted me 60 bucks a month!!

These deals are always done with the condition of having a home inspection to get a more accurate assessment of the properties worth. This little visit was scheduled for Monday of this week at 8:30am....or so I thought. Its important not to piss them off cause they can play with the numbers and make you pay way more. Ie...Last company I was with.

I get out of the shower at 8am, drop the towel, and walk out from the bathroom buck naked...I see something out of the corner of my eye, so I turn...Its the home inspector. Just as I turn my full front to him he snaps a picture of the front of my house. Hhahahaha.

Of course my drapes are completely open..

Like I said, I hope hes gay or something...

The picture above is of the ice cream truck that pisses me off every other day in the summer. It plays the same damn song on full volume as it rolls up and down the streets...Im surprised he hasn't been shot.

Apparently

2006-08-26T11:59:00.000-07:00

Apparently I went to the bar last night...

I know I went to one of our favorite local spots for a few pints and some darts. I also know I helped myself to a magnum of wine before I left. Darts became increasingly difficult as the night progressed. The first match came down to the last dart, and after that it just went all down hill.

I did not know however, that I made an appearance at Hess Village. After chatting with a friend on msn this morning she asked me how I was feeling.....humm....That's odd....I did not see her last night....How would she know I was hurting I thought.

Well apparently I did show up there, and then walked all the way home at some ridiculous hour. I also got myself invited to a neighbors place for some late night pizza? No idea I was there. Ha.

Note to self....Drinking while in a terrible mood only produces terrible results.

Ha.

I'm rich BEOTCH!!

2006-08-24T15:20:00.001-07:00

Well that's it....Im getting the F out of my neighborhood.

I had been looking around for a new house for a while now. The plan was to find a suitable house, and then rent out my apartment in my current place. All the houses I have been looking at are more expensive then mine, but in worse shape. I don't get it. Stupid market.

I have grown tired of my current financial and living arraignment's; so, instead of screwing around with the chicken before the egg argument, I just went straight for the chick.

I put an ad out in the paper, and within 12 hours I had already found my new tenant. She came over that night to have a look around to see if it was something she wanted.

One minute after she had entered my place:

"Dad!! Oh my God dad, you have to see this place!! Get down here right now!!"

That was pretty much it...I took the ad out the paper the next day, and told her I had a few other people coming through (standard real estate lie). Two days later she calls me asking what's happening with my place, and that night she signs a lease on my place for the same amount of money my guy pays up stairs for a two bedroom. Hahaha.

I have bad radar at this, but I am pretty sure she was hitting on me the whole time. This works out because you do not usually destroy shit when it belongs to someone you like.

Now its a bit of a race to find a new house. She moves in October 1st. This does put me in a shitty spot when viewing homes, but the trick is never let on that you need to move. If worse comes to worse I move home for a month or so while the market cools down and I pick up a sweet place for less then market value.

Either way Im getting the F off my street. The neighbors know that Im leaving now and the nice ones are sad to see me go. They gave me the broken pieces of the shovel as a parting gift...I laughed my ass off when they gave me this.

It was an interesting time down on Grant Ave let me tell you...

Onward and upward I suppose...

Congrats

2006-08-20T12:12:00.000-07:00

Had a pretty decent weekend; it was highlighted by seeing the better half of the Waterdown alumni at an old friends Stag and Doe.

This would be the lovely bride, Amy. I have no idea how we met, or why...But we became really good friends during the highshcool years and did our best to keep in touch as we moved along. She use to be a gymnast, and a damn good one at that too. I think when she bent 100% the wrong way after a vault mishap while on scholarship in the states was the beginning of the end for that dream.

This would be the stand-up guy of a groom, Tom. Tom and I met at various parties...We drink, give high fives when we see each other, and I think that's about it ha.

The night was your typical stag and doe with draws, delectable goodies to eat, booze, and randoms. What was good about this one was the amount of drinking games they had set up. Boxhead, kings, beermaids, etc....Everyone got very very drunk. ha.

Yes yes, good time had by all....And this time it wasn't me making an ass out of myself if you can believe it!!

More Foreshadowing then Macbeth

2006-08-18T18:29:00.000-07:00

Not long ago, aka two posts ago, I had explained what I might do in a situation where I found myself to be bummed out...

"Alone means you're disgruntled, and depressed about what happened.... Your diet turns into mass quantities of ice cream, you start collecting cats, and you may even find that old imaginary friend you had as a child once again. For me, I would probably grab a 40 of whiskey, a big old bag of pot, and start consuming until I ended up naked in my living room shouting into my scrub brush demanding respect because IM BOB FUCKING BARKER!!! AND THE PRICE IS RIGHT BITCH!!!!"

Now, I am not in a super shitty mood, and Im actually doing pretty good at work these days, possibly getting that second house, and might even do another video soon. Fingers crossed it all works out. However, I managed to pull off about 4 out of 6 things mentioned above all in one night.

Wednesday I decided to have a beer....not 37....one beer. I walked across the street to the neighbors porch to have this. While there I remembered I had the better half of a case at my place so I offered one to the neighbor...

Not too long after this we are through that and I helped myself to half a magnum of wine. We are now out of booze, so the logical answer is to get another case.

15 drinks later were in his backyard sitting around the fire with a few other folks and some pitbulls. ahahha. This started at 5pm so I had no shirt to begin this mess, during the partying I managed to lock myself out of my house. So I was rocking shorts only till the wee hours of the morn. I'm bombed, half naked, and roasting marshmallows in south central Hamilton( you are not allowed to have fires here).

I save the best for last though...When its time to finally call this quits I make my way back across the street to my place; in front of my door is this little black kitty. I'm bombed out of my mind now....So of course this cat is coming in with me.

When I wake to retrace my steps I notice not one, but TWO little fuzz balls in my bed. The kicker? This cat is way too cute to let go, but the thing is she is prego....So....It seems I will be collecting cats after all. ahhahahah.

Who wants a kitten?

“One hundred thousand pesos to come to Santa Poco, put on show, stop. The infamous El Guapo.”

2006-08-16T16:59:00.000-07:00

So now my street is on the news...

Yes yes, seems two nights ago they found my neighbor in a pool of her own blood out front of her house. I know this girl...I say hi to her on a regular basis.

She was having an argument with her boyfriend who then proceeded to stab her in the chest. I guess this would be a very unhappy couple because this is not the first time something like this has happened.

He beat the living shit out of her before and went to jail for it. While in jail she tattooed his name on her tit?? Excuse me while I shake my head.

He got out of jail, had nowhere to go, so he ended up back at her house.

He said he wanted to leave, she wouldn't let him....They argued...And now she is intensive care and he is back in jail.

Uhhhhhhhhh........duhhhhhhhhhh.........uhhhhhhhhhhhhh....

If they end up back together Im going to fire-bomb their house...Sure I'll have a smoldering pile of rubbish a few doors down, but at least I wont have that shit going on.

Im just going to change topics here...

I had explained I've been told I was a poor mans Danny/Hyde.

So use your imagination and combine all three of these pictures together.

Hair from this one

Beard from here

And shades from this one....Look close and you can see Pornfield.

Alone Vs Single

2006-08-14T09:22:00.000-07:00

You may have noticed I don't really blog about my love life. Some people do, and I think that's great to have a medium where you can express what's going on in that neck of the woods. I personally don't dive into that stuff for various reasons....mostly because I have no idea who reads this. Ha. Anyways, I think for the first time in a year and half I'm completely single. Here is where I would put a sentence to sum up what the hell happened...but even that is something I will keep to myself....

Now what???

Well here is the correct question to answer that....Am I alone now? or am I single...

Single in my mind means you're fresh out of a relationship, and ready to bang anything that walks....Well....That's not how I feel, as I have never been that way, and never will be. I think I've picked up at a bar once in my life...but that one girl made up for the rest of the missed opportunities let me tell you. Christ, even my one night stand turned into a relationship.

Alone means you're disgruntled, and depressed about what happened.... Your diet turns into mass quantities of ice cream, you start collecting cats, and you may even find that old imaginary friend you had as a child once again. For me, I would probably grab a 40 of whiskey, a big old bag of pot, and start consuming until I ended up naked in my living room shouting into my scrub brush demanding respect because IM BOB FUCKING BARKER!!! AND THE PRICE IS RIGHT BITCH!!!!

But, no no....

I feel like neither of these two situations.

I do not really care what else is going on out there in the single world....and Im not bummed out beyond belief about what's not going on in my bedroom. Instead, its time to take a new approach I think.

For the last year and a half the love part of my life had been the focus; it got me nowhere fast and ended up only hurting a bunch of people in the process...including myself. I think now I'll put a few other things first, and let that part find me....

I heard that's the way to do it anyways.

"How ya living? How ya Living?..."

2006-08-07T09:28:00.001-07:00

Went up to cottage country this weekend for a little RnR. After coming to the conclusion that I need to get the F out of Hamilton because it makes me sick, it was a much needed trip.

A friend of mine has a house up in Port Elgin with some extra room, so it has sorta turned into the weekend get away for a few people. It was my first trip up and damn was it fun.

This will just be a picture post as you can clearly see...

We stopped off for some cold lemonade before hitting the beach....

If this were Hamilton those kids would be selling crack on the side, and they'd have a loaded 45 under the table just in case....

Who's annoyed?? I am....hahaha. Get me the hell out of here...Im done.

How does this shit find me?

2006-08-06T11:38:00.000-07:00

One of the oddest days ever....

It was my brothers birthday on Tuesday. We all had a blast down at this bar in Burlington to celebrate the guy turning 24. He didnt have to work the next day so we got him totally wasted. He crashed at my house as driving was not an option for him. (not really for me either ha)...

I awoke to find him on my futon dead to the world as he should be...

Ahhhh a job well done I thought to myself, then turned the corner to go take my morning shower. I pull back the shower curtain to find the tub completely covered in puke....(I know I know, too many barfing stories lately, I apologize)....that little f'er....but how could I get mad? haha I couldnt.

I did what I could to make the shower useable, got ready for work, pretended to smack him across the face while he slept, and left.

I then stroll across the street to my car, open the door and .................oh wait.............. whats this?

A needle...a dirty used needle is on the floor of my car...WTF!

This takes a second or two for my brain to comprehend....I look around to also notice all my cds are gone, as well as my change...it wasnt much, but still.

A junkie got blasted in my car, took all my tunes, and went to get a blow job for 5 bucks....wonderful.

Best part was that I should have gotten mad....I should have been upset...instead? I cranked up the only cd I had left,(Bloc Party)and went about my day like nothing really happened...

I mean what did I really lose? My cds....I have all the music on my computer anyways...5 bucks in change? I know I am cheap...but I think I could spare it...and hell!! I got something in return...a needle!!!

Hahahhaha Ok, that part is gross...I dont even want to throw it out because then I will have to touch it, but I guess I'll have to. Maybe I can leave it in there with a note and a few more cds saying "take me"

As if that wasnt enough I come home to find my house empty...where the hell is my cat I thought?? My brother had let him out before he left I guess. I round the back corner of my house to look for him and I see this:

KITTY KITTY GANG BANG

My poor little cat is being butt blasted by some f'ing stray while another scrapper with no ears stands guard to make sure he goes nowhere....my cat is male folks...my cat is being raped by some gay asshole cat...you have got to be kidding me.

That was it...

Barf all over my bathroom no problem, crack-head junkie robs me fine, queer cat is raping my little guy....hes fucking dead.

I look around me for something to throw at this cat...

Oh this is too perfect, a shovel is right next to me!! I have become the shoveler...its all becoming real!!

I grabed that thing and started swinging for the fences....the two faggots ran off before I could drop them down from 9 lives to say negative 47...

Bosco is safe inside and will remain there until hes fully grown...I will also be bringing my pellet gun down to my house I think. For no real reason...ahahhaha. I wonder if I could blow a cats nuts off with a pellet gun??

Let me know if this is possible...

Shoveler out...

Strike 2!!!! You're out!!!!

2006-08-01T09:16:00.000-07:00

This posts going to be about a little bit of "history" repeating...

You see, roughly 10 years ago at the ripe old age of 16..or maybe 17 I don't know..I didn't have much access to booze. What was easy to get however was pot. So my New Years Eve that year consisted of 3 dudes, 3 guitars, and a big-ol-bag of greens.

It was awesome, my friend lived on a farm, so we would set up shot in his abandoned barn and rock the F out. It being New Years and all, we decided to light them up like they were Pop-eye cigarettes.

This was AWESOME!!! for a while....Then I slowly, but surely, lost it...

I remember sitting in a chair in the kitchen when things started to go badly. I fell off the chair and onto the kitchen floor where I remained for quite some time. The other guys were in the next room and too f'ed to know I had gone south.

Im not sure if this has even been repeated...I certainly wouldn't wish this upon anyone. But, what happened next was insane. I was still conscious, but had no real use of my limbs...I remember the room started to seem really windy, this wind however could only be felt by one of my eyeballs....eventually it was as if my eye had been turned into a vacuum cleaner and was violently sucking the air out of the room...

This feeling??? Unexplainable....It went on for a bit and there was nothing I could do about it. I guess the guys had stirred from the next room and were trying to help me up, but I didn't even know they were there....The whole thing pretty much sucked. Once they got me to my feet I regained control of my limbs one by one, and eventually I remembered I had a stomach...GOODBYE!!! I ran outside to get a second look at dinner that night...

That was the first and last time I puked from pot....I vowed never to get to that point again. A) way too fucking scary B) felt like complete shit C) Im pretty sure something of that magnitude is not good for you in the long run...

10 years has passed, and my walk in the green forest has been mostly pleasant since...The odd bought of paranoia has been known to rear its ugly head once and a while.

But yes, its been a lovely relationship MaryJane and I have had....until yesterday...

I have no idea how, or why, or what....I have nothing....No solid explanation as to why it really happened. I was sitting in my living room with my bro talking about his birthday plans for today. Took a rather large hit off herb, and sat back to continue playing xbox. I coughed like crazy, which isn't really normal for myself...during my coughing fit I asked my brother how full he packed the bowl, it was to the rim...I guess that was not just for myself....

Eventually I went from not being able to play games anymore, to not being able to even watch a movie....I was totally and completely KO'ed. The onset of paranoia was unbearable....It was that extreme high where you feel every single heart beat, you feel what your veins feel, you get a sense of where your blood is rushing and why....basically everything is beyond intense....the word intense doesn't even come close to justifying this feeling...after the physical torture lessened, the mental shit took over and my imagination latched itself to a jet rocket and pressed the big red button....Wont bother trying to explain where I went, but god damn. ahhaha.

The ending was the worst part I think....after 30 mins of intense mind battles with myself my brain wrapped itself around the idea of going to jail for pot...dont ask why, hasnt been a problem so far for my family. hahaha. Anyways, it went from pot, to jail, to being in jail, to the fear that every little white guy has about jail...becoming some little bitch for some big fucking black dude...I had images in my head for all of 10 seconds before I couldn't take it anymore....

I got up and did the Fear and loathing walk to the bathroom...

"You know you have to barf....These thoughts are making you want to barf...just do it and they will be gone!!...but we cant barf, not yet....we are not at the bathroom....well what's more important right now? A little spill on the floor, or having bubbas python down your throat...Shut up, almost there....Must make it...Why are my legs not co-operating?!?!...God damn it....We made it!!! BLAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!"

Yes ladies and gents, I managed to smoke so much pot I hurled....I love how puking always solves the problem....Too drunk?? Barf and you'll feel loads better, normally you can even start drinking again....Too high?? Spew and you'll give yourself a few activities to keep your mind off what you have just done to yourself. hahaha...Even if those consist of cleaning up the cookies you just tossed.

Anyways, why was this post so long??? Well....I have been dating MaryJane for over 10 years now, and I think this subject deserves a more complete summary....That being said, I think its time we ended our love affair...getting to that point is not something I ever want to do again...its beyond horrible.

Goodbye MJ...Goodbye...

BOSCO!!!! What did she say? It sounded like Bosco?

2006-07-30T18:50:00.000-07:00

Last weekend was dedicated to grown up things....This weekend was dedicated to having fun.

Friday night I ended up at a stag and doe for a cousin of a friend I guess. Didn't really know many people, and had almost no idea who the bride and groom were. But a few drinks were had to celebrate the happy couple regardless.

It was a good friends B-day last Thursday. He resides in downtown Toronto now, so we do not see each other as much...T's a shame. Was one of the only people I could say whatever the hell I wanted to, do whatever the hell I wanted around, and he would always get it. One of those friends you could sit there and laugh your ass off for absolutely no reason at all...priceless.

I took him out for dinner to La Luna for his birthday. After dinner we headed over to a house party thrown by a guy from my old high-school. Hadn't seen these people in years....way too funny. I decided to get classy for this one....Bottle of wine, no glass.

My kitty kat was sick as a dog (ha)....I think the little bastard ate something outside that he shouldn't have. He sat around the house and didn't do anything for about 2 days. He had actually stopped eating and drinking as well. Kinda scared me.

I thought it might have to do with the heat, and the fact that I changed his food. So I got the AC going, and went back to the old food hoping this would fix the problem. I don't think that's what helped him, but whatever...Hes all better now. Ha

Heres a snipit of what my place looks like on the inside now....I'll show ya the outside next week when Im done fixing it.

And last but not least, the wedding. I had a Sunday wedding for an old friend. We went to high-school together and were friends then. Not best friends, but we got along. We ended up at the same university and in 2nd year we moved in together along with 5 other guys. I had no f'ing clue he would be the first guy to go....I was going to guess last...

But, he's a great guy and his WIFE!! is a good match for him. Andy is an extremely patient man, and his wife Erin is a demanding, controlling, crazy lady...but loves Andy very much. So it works...Funny how complete opposites compensate for each other.

"SIXTY FOUR DIVIDED BY SIXTEEN!!!!!"

2006-07-28T15:13:00.000-07:00

My place of business decideded to hold its first annual company golf tournament. I loved the idea!! My companies atmosphere at work is about as much as say a morgues. But, a few things have changed and I think its for the better.

We all met up at this mid to high end golf course in Burlington for a tee-off time of 4pm. I made it there at 4:05. Flew into the parking lot, grabed the clubs outage the back and ran to the first tee box. (Was having a few pints before down at Hess to send off a good friend to Ireland...Again...Ha) Turns out I'm in the second group to go and the first had just finished. Now that my friends is a man destined for JIT inventory management. Anyways..

I round the corner and waltz up onto the tee box to start streching. haah. My sales manager goes first and puts it into the woods...so that makes me feel a little better.

Now my turn...

K, so anyone who doesnt golf?...just dont bother reading this actually...cause you wont care...ha.

Its my first shot of the day, my whole company (minus the four that just teed off) is standing behind me, and Im playing with a set of hand-me-downs from my dad that are sized wrong...my dad just needed an excuse to get new ones for himself I think....But ya, all that combined kinda threw me off.

I wasnt like crazy nervous or anything, but I do blame this shot on the reasons above...

I blast off a three iron shot....which if hit right was going to the moon....instead??

A close second!

Ha, I smash it off a lamp post and send it into the parking lot containing some half decent cars...cars whos owners are standing behind me.

ahhahaahha...it was sweet. I dont think I hit anything, but Wow...that really couldnt have gone much worse.

Reverse AC

2006-07-24T15:30:00.000-07:00

Did a couple things on the weekend to make the push towards renting out my house. I needed a new stove as my current one does not, and has never, worked. Also, I think any house should have one of these....a dishwasher of course. Who in the F would want to wash dishes by hand anymore? I don't mind working with my hands, but washing dishes is such a piss off to me.

The day of reckoning did not quite work as planned though. It was raining so I couldn't finish staining the deck, or paint the bricks in the front. Also, the store we were picking up the stove from wasn't open...who knew. Ha.

In a random turn of events my parents did drop off an air conditioner for me. I was complaining about how I was melting at night. I had talked about going to get something for the window, just something cheap. Something was better then nothing.

They came over with this thing instead....

Things like R2D2...bloody huge...and ugly. I would not have cared if the thing worked at least. But, for the first day or two it seemed to only make my house warmer...ahhahha.

Works fine now...just need to find a place to hide it away so it blends in...

The dishwasher also needs a home...working on that one.

No Heaven in Heaven

2006-07-21T08:13:00.000-07:00

You may, or may not have heard the song "No Heaven" by DJ Champion. First heard this driving back from Muskoka in a state so hungover I think I became delusional. In my delusions I conjured up what I think would suit the song as a video.

In a nutshell, a random guy walking down some back alleys, kinda lost, would stumble upon a sign that reads:

"Best kept secret in town, 25 cents"

He would shrug he shoulders and enter, ensuing he has nothing better to do, so why not. There's a chair in the middle of the room, and nothing else. It would be a mostly wooden room, dark, with windows off to one side providing some light. After he slowly makes his way to his seat, he sits down and begins to take in his surroundings. He sees a coin slot in the chair and is more then happy to insert a shiny quarter into it. He's kinda puzzled, but remains seated, waiting for whatever is to come next.

Suddenly, curtains are closed in all around him, leaving him in darkness....he would take out his lighter to try and help the current situation. Upon doing so he would start to see something like this.

The rest of the video is pretty easy to envision. It would get to a point where he's totally mesmerized...at this junction hed get slapped, and snap out of it only to be surrounded by people, kinda in a club atmosphere, and it would be completely strob-light lit, and done mostly in slow motion...

At the end, hed leave the building and been seen doing one a few things:

a) taking down the sign and running away
b) smashing a parking meter to get more quarters

or

c) smiling away like an idiot as he walks down the street...

Reporting Live from downtown Hamilton

2006-07-19T11:18:00.001-07:00

I think I could easily turn this blog into news broadcast about all the shitty things that happen down by my neighborhood.

Last week cop cars were all over my street again as some old man went missing. They think he was kidnapped. I didn't even bother to try and figure this one out.

I did get involved in something that happened two nights ago though. Why? Cause I am too nice....I need to fix this.

A little girl was rollerblading at the end of the street and got smoked by a car. I saw the dent she put in the car....I figured she was going to be broken...Everywhere.

Just as I am about to go to bed I remember the top is down in my car. That is one thing I failed to mention in my last post. I had left it down while we were at the bar, so to top it all off I drove home in a convertible puddle....So anyways, I go outside to put it up and I hear "Hey, hey, guy with the car". Never been called guy with the car before, but I figured he was talking to me. He had just come onto the scene and wanted to go see his little sister at the hospital and needed a lift.

I could have been a dick and said any number of excuses to get out of it. But, I thought all this guy wants to do is see his sister at the hospital. So I caved.

We get there and there is still another 6 people to be seen before her. There is no way in hell I'm sticking around here for hours and hours. I get in line to see the receptionist for a pen and paper to give these guys my cell so they can call when its all over and done with. The lady in front of me happens to be a few peanut butter sandwiches short of a picnic. She gets to the front and asks them to pay for her cab down here because she simply has no money. They say no, and the cabbie gets pissed at the nutty lady....She couldn't stick up for herself so I gave the guy the money I had been given to run down here in the first place and leaves.

I get the hell out of there only to find my time in the drop off parking has expired and I now owe 4 bucks, exactly what I had given the cabbie...I have no more cash...wtf...I tried to use my credit card but no dice. There's a sign saying parking office downstairs...So I get out of my car and make my way down 6 flights of stairs, how long is six flights of stairs? Well apparently its 4 bucks, cause when I got down there I now owed 8 bucks, not 4. Karma came to the rescue and he let me go for free.

I got home only to get a phone call at 5:30am to pick them up....

No body better get hit on my street again....Although I wish I was an ambulance driven, I am not one.

Maybe if I do nice things I wont get robbed by these people....ahhaahah

Oh ya?....OH YA?....OHHHHH YAAA??!?!

2006-07-17T16:55:00.000-07:00

Drinking contests are never a good idea....unless there is the remote possibility of a positive outcome...

Typically, unless getting beyond the normal limits of an alcohol induced state of insanity is your goal, there really is no upside. You may argue pride as the victors sweet nectar of satisfaction. This glorified state however, is suddenly the furthest thing from your mind when the room turns into the Gravitron on you.

I had a busy day Friday. First I was out with some big shot for lunch where I had a sweet cold pint of Sleemans to smooth over my afternoon. I don't know why, but one beer at lunch is equivalent to three beers at night for me. After work I headed over early to my friends stag to consume more delicious beer. Lots of cool prizes and the tastiest little piggy you've ever had. I now think pig skin is the best thing ever....didn't see that one coming. I knew the total of 2 people there, so I paid my respects to the Groom, and made my way over to my second stop of the night: poker. I love poker.

Met up with a few of the boys, and some of their friends visiting from Ireland. They were here for a wedding that kinda hit the skids last minute...2nd time I think haah. Anyways, I racked up a few more brews during this...I think the counts around 7 beers now. Usually I do not keep a direct tally of what I drink. I realize Im doing exactly what D.C. would make fun of white people for, but the number is important to whats left of my pride later in the story.

We finish with poker and make our way over to the local watering-hole. 3 pitchers later and the introduction of the "Irish CarBomb" to the Irish boys I find myself saying these words:

"Ya!!! Lets have a drinking competition!! Loser pays the bill!!!!"

This broken sentence of stupidity shall never leave my lips again....

The guy Im drinking with is twice my size and is from Ireland....So hes IRISH, not pretend Irish like me....

How many drinks Ive had before contest begins?....hard to say, my guess is around 11.

We start off with 2 carbombs each, then its 2 shots of Jaeger each, then I think it went back to 2 car bombs again, then over to Zambucha...2 each of course...then it was tequila...the last shot of tequila was like a depth charge in my stomach...

The second it hit I knew it was all over....

Now keep in mind that little blurb about what we drank was all in a matter of 20-25 mins....

I B-LINE!!! it downstairs and burst into the Mens room....It was like someone hooked up a fire hose to me and let it rip...I basically redecorated the bathroom in this place...

When it was all over I sat back and admired what I had created....kinda like in Stand by Me....haahaha.

I dont even feel all that drunk at this point, Im just super tired and look like a waste of human space. So when the first stranger enters the room I smiled and laughed as I stood there in my boxers cleaning the barf off the better half of my pants.

This great idea cost me $200. The only partial saving grace was my counter part apparently feel asleep on the shitter that night, and woke up around 2pm. Hahahaha.

The next day was cool too....Lurched out of Mikes condo around 10am to randomly bump into this girl who lived on my floor first year Uni...

"Oh my god, how are you?!?!?!....havent seen you in ages!!!"

This was actually great....I finally got to answer this question the flat out opposite of what the person expected.

"Actually.....Im terrible"

hahha, explained my situation, hugged, and parted ways. Shes a cute kid, I think im going to try and set my brother up with her....

Del Boca Vista

2006-07-12T15:31:00.000-07:00

Welcome to wild wonderful world of extreme bocce ball.

Not only is the landscape treacherous, but the combatants are also slightly left of center. Bocce is suppose to be played on a flat surface...However, we go on slopes, different levels, and a few times even into the pool...that game is usually pretty stpuid.

Spent the weekend/other random days lounging by my parents pool....Its hard to leave this house...well, when they are not there its really nice. Its nice when they are there too, but you can't really enjoy it the same way.

Even got some poker in...after "Zizou" smashed his head off that silly I-Ti...I probably would have liked to do the same thing to half that team, but for f sakes, keep your shit together for 5 seconds, kick a penalty, and go home a hero...idiot.

Ya life is rough when they go away...AC, a pool, and food...

Its like being on vacation for me.

While the cats are away...

2006-07-07T09:24:00.000-07:00

My dad had a business trip booked to France for a while now, and just by chance the Frenchies happened to advance to the World Cup finals. So, hes going to be there to take part in the insanity that will ensue should they bring home the cup. My mom is also tagging along on this week long conference....to shop...ha.

While they are over there enjoying themselves it seems only fitting to be partying back here as well....in there house of course. haha.

I love when they go away.

Plus, Im half Irish, and half French...So I could remotely say I have a vested interest in this match....but not really. haha. The only reminder that Im part French is my mother's maiden name...Lanthier.

Go France Go!!!

What's the Frequency Kenneth?

2006-07-04T13:03:00.000-07:00

I had jury duty on Tuesday...I didn't get picked, and I will just leave it at that. ha.

Random days off are way better then ones you are expecting. How so? Well the weekend for example: It is either spent partying, or hungover from partying. That's pretty much the weekend in a nutshell. Scheduled days off are usually spent hungover as well because not having to work in the morning is a cause celebration in my mind. Days you get off for no good reason, like "sick" days, or "jury duty" days are much much more fun.

My day off:

Woke up and got incredibly high...hahaahhaahha.

Played with my cat for a bit, cleaned up the house, made some breakfast, and then got down to business. I needed a list of things to do. Lists are great. I wont bother going into the scientific backup as to why you get more shit done when you have a list, you just do...pretty much common sense.

Before setting out on my day of fun, I entertained my kitten for a bit longer, while doing so I starting day-dreaming again...I do this for like 45% of my day normally. I would do it even more if people wouldn't bug me all God Damn Day. Anyways, I was thinking about what happened last week and came up with a couple good ideas related to it...

1) Become a professional boxer and call myself John "The Shovel" Macnamara....

2) Become a super hero like William H Macy in Mystery Men..."The Shoveler"

3) Become some weird Mixture of "The Shoveler" and, Nacho Libre...

4) Shave my beard off, get super high again, and get on with my day...

Choose 4....

I started off by rolling by this car dealership selling old BMW's and Benzs...found one I liked, and figured out they would take my old car off me at par. So that was good to know for later. Priced out a new stove. Bought some white gravel for my drive way, and priced out some patio stones....Finally ended up at my new favorite store in the whole world...Dollarama...This place is f'ing awesome. You just go crazy in there because its like its all free...I mean, you see something, and think: "hey..its only a dollar..who cares". I love it.

I am so cheap its ridiculous, spending money is like torture to me....Don't know why. There was a catch phrase back in highschool started by my friends Mom...Deloris...her name pretty much says it all. This lady was quirky as hell, and everything thing she said sounded funny for no good reason. I think we were always high at his house which might have been why. Anyways, the catch phrase was: "John...Are ya Jewish?"....I never fully understood why she asked. Didn't matter, it was an ongoing funny one liner that got a laugh every time. I guess I kinda looked Jewish back then, and was fairly cheap with my cash...

Not as cheap as the guy I saw getting chased out of the dollar store for shoplifting. The lady at the cash didn't even bat an eye when the commotion started. I asked her why she was so nonchalant about it. Her answer: "last month we caught 150 people shoplifting, this guy was nothing"...Wow. After I left my dollar priced paradise I walked past the parking guy, hopped one parking median to the free parking, and smiled. While rounding the corner back on my street I saw 4 cop cars.....Great not again....Turns out some old lady in a motorized wheel chair got clipped as she was crossing the street...I think Im almost at the age where this is not funny, but I still kinda laughed..ahahh she was ok anyways.

I finished off my cheap day by driving over to this random lot where they had piles of woodchips.....for what reason? I don't know. So I loaded up my car, and now have woodchips galore at my place...Haahhha.

I thank you very much Jury Duty.

Call me anytime!!!

The Freeloaders: Day for Night tour

2006-07-02T16:43:00.001-07:00

Canada Day long weekend....HIIIOHHHH

For some messed up reason I was given the Friday off, and not the Monday, so here I sit Monday morning at work....writing this....

With no work Friday, my drinking partner and I decided to head North to Muskoka for the weekend with no plan what so ever. Not like, hey should we go golfing today, or should we go to the beach?...More like we didnt get hotel rooms, we didnt pack food, we just got in the car and drove up there ahahahha.

Rolled into this quasi-posh resort called Clevelands House around 11:30pm. I know a girl that works there, and my drinking teammate use to be employed there back in the day. So we waltz into the bar down by the lake and proceed to get shmammered....The night got pretty fuzzy, but it all came rushing back to me when I awoke in our spacious two-bedroom apartment. See below...

Yes, its all coming back now...Im sore as F'ing hell because I was beaten with a shovel two days ago and I slept in the front seat of a car.

Anyways, let the freeloading begin....We wake and bake, fall out of the apartment, and make use of the properties bathrooms as if they were our own. This is after stopping by the staff kitchen to get a bite to eat. haha..Next we head down the resorts beach front to catch some rays...then over to the hot tub to relax the old muscles and get ready for the days events.

Our afternoon: Bombed, completely totally smashed, don't remember the second soccer match drunk. ahhaha. I know Germany won, and someone had to remind me that Italy did as well. There was a power nap in the apartment some time before dinner. Dinner was at the restaurant where our buddies band was playing that night. They started rocking out and I went South. I was looking at two beers in front of me and couldn't bring myself to touch them. Gave them both away and resorted to water hoping it would bring me back to life....I was getting better, and the night seemed to be shaping up to be an interesting one, but I took myself out of equation instead. Got a ride home at midnight to the bands hotel room and passed out cold.

Day two: Exactly the same. Except this time I had no intention of drinking during the day. I had one beer during the entire England match. But you see, my comrade is English, and he did not take the loss very well. That coupled with the onslaught of our friend, her sister, and her six friends....the afternoon was again a haze.

Made it back to the bands hotel somehow...haha....and crashed.

This night the two of us didn't even make it out to the bar. We both missed the entire night. We tried to make it out, both got two red bulls each at the corner store, but they did nothing. I saw one of the other weekend warriors doing the same thing, only he bought 6. Of course he had entered the store in his boxer shorts because he had lost his pants....So maybe he needed a few more as he seemed to be having a harder time then us. ha. Anyways, everyone came back from the show around 3am and decided to play poker until 5 or 6am...the sun was up that's all I know.

The feeling of complete death sunk in around 9am...That's when we decided to grab our shit..and go.

One hell of a weekend, and we didn't even party at night.

Ridiculous...

LLLLLEEETTS GGET READY TO RRRUUUUUMBBBLLEE!!!!!

2006-06-29T07:10:00.000-07:00

I don't really even know how to start this story...I think Im still in shock that it actually happened...

I met my neighbors about two weeks ago. They are fairly young, around 18 and 19, and seemed to be pretty decent people. It was the one guys birthday yesterday, so I walked over to give him a beer and say happy birthday.

As Im walking over I see the birthday boy is talking to some little punk kid, we'll say he's around 12. I guess the 12 year old was being a little shit and destroyed a few of our other neighbors flowers. This ends when the birthday boy smacks the little guy to teach him a lesson, and sends him on this way...Seemed a little harsh, but its Hamilton...Tough love baby. ahha. I don't know....Whatever I thought to myself...Not my business.

We take a seat on his front porch with two of his buddies, and there girl friends. I crack the beers, he throws me a smoke, and we are officially chilling on this lovely afternoon.

This lasts about 10 seconds as the little kid comes running back with his older brother and his friends.....There is about 8 of them....grrreat.

A shouting match ensues, tempers flare, and I just sit there watching this all unfold thinking nothing will really come from it....Holyshit was I wrong.

Birthday boy starts popping off about "having" something for the guys....(for you whiter then white people out there, that means a gun)...and runs upstairs. At this point instead of pondering from a philosophical stand point why this is all happening, I should have been getting the F out of Dodge. Not really anywhere for me to go as the 8 guys were standing in front of the porch. So I just sat there with my beer in one hand and my smoke in other, and pretended like I was a spectator in this...I mean I just moved here...Im not "offically" Hammer yet haahha.

The main Asshole on the other side decides hes not going to wait for the birthday boy to come down with whatever hes getting, and storms the porch. One dude gets cranked in the face, then he turns to me and does nothing...dont know why. He runs back down the steps and picks up a shovel.....

Here is where everything changes....A shovel...A fucking shovel....wow...

I get up out of my seat and turn to jump off the porch, I get smoked in the back of head and neck with the shovel as Im falling over the edge. I hit the ground and remember seeing my beer still in my hand, but the smoke was toast as it was covered in beer....I rule....I remember laughing about this as they came around the corner to get me.

Funny thing was it didn't hurt...Like I didn't really feel the impact. I knew they weren't done with me, but I didn't bother getting up or trying to fight back. I just sat there. One guy threw a punch, but I blocked it with my hands. I took a couple solid kicks to the ribs and at that point the birthday emerged from the house with his over-sized hunting knife.

The crowd then leaves me alone, and turns there attention to him....they move towards him as if to say "you wont use that you pussy"....ahhaha well they were fucking wrong.

Guy starts lashing out at people like a maniac.....He's surrounded by all these guys with bats and whatnot, but didn't give a flying fuck. Dude was on a mission to kill someone....He managed to slice one guys face, and one-punch some other dude...Someone threw a knife at him, and it just bounced off. Hahhaha. This guy was a bloody riot to watch.

At this point I had sat my ass down on the old lady's porch next door, and was enjoying what was left of my beer.

This lasted a few more moments before 6 cop cars flew in to break it all up. I ended up knowing one of the cops from highschool....he kinda laughed as if to say what the fuck are you doing here...ahhaha.

Thats just it though....Wrong place, Wrong time....

So ya, that was kinda neat....but would rather not do that again...my ribs and neck are sore, but other than that all I have is a headache.

I am so glad I came out of my house to meet my neighbors...what was I thinking waiting a whole year to join this party.

$3.73

2006-06-27T08:58:00.001-07:00

Ignorance, racism, bizarre luck, and menacing little leprechauns...Yes this next story has it all.

As I was pulling up to my V.I.P parking spot at BlockBuster last night (thats curbside right outside cause Im lazy) I witnessed a mind-boggling feat of stupidity. This asshole was riding his bike on the curb wobbling in and out of people. He comes across some Chinese exchange student type guy and blatantly gives him the finger...Right in the guys face, and doesn't take it away until he bumbles past him completely...I had just gotten out of my car and didn't know what to make of this. Who the fuck does that?

As I get closer the random Hamilton dirtbag is now off his bike and is standing in my way to Blockbuster. He opens up his dumb mouth and before he could even say anything I knew what was coming.

"Hey man, can you spare some change?"

If this guy didn't look like he had spent the vast majority of his life in jail I probably would have told him to get a f'ing life....or perhaps just die, and make Hamilton that much nicer.

I didn't give him the time of day, went about my business, and took off.

I did see some other folks giving this guy money...kinda made me upset, but wasn't my place to say shit. I give what I can when I deem it to be necessary. You can tell between the guys who need it, and the guys that are just too fucking stupid and lazy to do anything else.

However, I feel I did the right thing in not giving this asshole shit. And today I was rewarded for my decision.

I go on binges...this last week I've been eating nothing but Italian wedding soup from Mrs.Vinnis. For awhile there it was a BLT salad from Wendys...but after so long you just cant take it anymore....Anyways, today I reached into my wallet just expecting to have enough change for my soup...

I pull out a loonie, a toonie, two quarters....k getting there....oh two dimes...sweet...now all I need is three lousy cents...Come on come on...oh there we go...Wow....three cents...I have down to the last penny exactly $3.73 for my soup today.

Moral of this story??

Stupid people should just die, Karma is neat, and leave the Chinese alone...They are going to own your ass in a few years...

Oh, and I guess there were no menacing leprechauns...my mistake...Ha

Its the simple things

2006-06-26T07:36:00.000-07:00

I have forgotten how much I enjoy the simple things in life.

I put one of my many loonies, now im my wallet after a Saturday night spent at the bars, into the vending machine today.

Decided that peanut butter was kinda like a breakfast thing, so I went for the Reeses peanut butter cups.

Instead of three delicious chocolate covered peanut cups, I got six...yes six. Two packages came down instead of the expected one.

It was like I won the fucking lottery....

And no...I dont believe in Jesus, just a funny picture ha!

I give...

2006-06-22T11:39:00.000-07:00

Sat alone in my house yesterday staring at the ceiling fan for hours, with my cat in one hand and a smoke in the other...Until I just started crying.

After awhile I dont even know what I was crying about...just felt good to be doing it.

Today was not much better, but at least it wasnt yesterday...

I've come to realise that blogging is just basically a modern way of scrap booking...Collecting pictures and stories to be remembered for another day.....

Hopefully those are better days..

We'll Make Great Pets

2006-06-20T16:34:00.000-07:00

I met the neighbor's for the first time last Friday night....within 10 minutes we got into the 420....I think that was like a record for me...Anyways, I was shook. These guys put me to shame. I did what I could to pretend I was ok, gathered what dignity I had left, and slowly made my way back across the street...They could have been in a similar state, but I wasn't sticking around to find out.

I felt like an old man that just got his ass kicked my some punk kids. Not a totally bad experience as I came home and thought up this:

(please note, I know my grammar is terrible, my writing style is all over the map, and there's no real direction to most of what I write. BUT!! Sometimes I like think I come up with cool ideas. It always seems really cool in my head anyways ha.)

A mans life is filled with coincidences, ones he has trouble explaining, or justifying as possible. They occur so often that ultimately they drive this man into a deep search for the cause, or for the meaning behind them. Several theories only turn up dead ends as his life takes turns for the worse on his journey to the truth.

This resembles some of the same senerios in Vanilla Sky, however that plot is based on the events being manipulated by ones own thought process; However, this story would have an outside source controlling the course of this mans life. Anyways,...doesnt really matter because:

The end is hard to determine...could be that the only way out it is intentional suicide to live again somewhere else...as in he develops a deeper understanding of his world, determines its not real, and kills himself to get out...the setting then turns into some sick TV show in the future that sends people into this state of mind for entertainment. The modern day Coliseum of Rome...or something else???

One of the many reasons why I don't actually try and write anything....The ending is the story, without an ending it is simply nothing. This is the blog version of this, as any more detail and I wouldnt even enjoy writing this post, let alone reading it.

Could be the guy is just on the verge of being nuts, and his circumstances spin him out of control while looking for the answers...ultimately ending up in the looine bin.

Only problem is this plot has probably already been written by someone else prior to me thinking it up. Hell, I probably even watched the thing....This would be the downside of the 420 rearing its ugly head.

hahaha.

Brought to you by 420 entertainment.

Fast and the Furious...Cambridge Drift

2006-06-19T09:40:00.000-07:00

A bunch of random shit happened this weekend around my cars.

1) Got the old convert out of storage, and brought it into the garage to get some work done on her.

2) Bought a BMW on eBay by mistake.

3) Somehow got involved in a mid-day street race.

After dropping off the convertible at my buddies dealership we decided to go out for lunch. We hop into the fastest car hes got on the lot. A new 300 with a Hemi, and all the trimmings...425HP or something insane like that.

We roll up to a red light and see some modified Infinite G-something or other beside us. Light goes green, and Mikey hammers it...Its like two Harleys are in my ear drums when he does this.

We are kinda side by side, back and forth, until this happens:

Guy unloads with some Nitro...weirdest sound ever....and he just takes off

Hahahaha

Downtown Cambridge, middle of the day, and he uses this shit...

Anyways, the BMW. Didn't really want to buy it, was just bored at work on eBay, and was throwing out some bids. Ended up winning the damn thing. Nice car, but it was in Florida, and I didn't want the hassle of bringing it over the boarder. So I asked to drop my bid, and he did.

Very nice of him....What the F was I going to do with 3 cars. Ha.

Unbeknownst to me, I can't hear a God Damn thing under water..

2006-06-17T18:59:00.000-07:00

Ended up at bar last night fairly late, around 1am we'll say....Bumped into the usual suspects, most of whom I haven't seen in awhile...so that was good in itself.

I found myself talking to this guy I had only met once before at a party I threw back a few months ago.

It goes past the "hey.....hey" and ends up on what do we do for a living, which in my mind is now a staple part of any conversation....sad but true, anyways, my part is boring, but he tells me hes a singer in a band....

"oh, thats cool...(In my head: bands are fun, neat, k usually singing doesnt pay the bills, what else do you do)...whats the name of your band?

"Alexis on fire"

"oh....Really??.....haha no way, really?? shit. haahahhaha. well that's cool"

Felt quasi dumb for a second... Not exactly my type of music though

But, was pretty funny to find that out that way....cool guy I might add..

I apologize already

2006-06-15T11:51:00.000-07:00

Boom....

Walk out the front door this morning only to be greeted by the Fedex Man/Lady....

It was kinda scary, but kinda refreshing...

This person was obviously in their own world, and ok with it...

The boy who blocked his own shot.

2006-06-14T06:05:00.000-07:00

I had an interview last week.

I went in there guns a blazing spouting off about what I've done so far, and where Id like to go. Everything went really well, too well. The people interviewing me seemed to be just regular Joes...nothing insanely corporate, or exciting about them.

The job pays a lot more then I currently make, is with a bigger company, and demands a lot less responsibility. Id bascially be taking a huge reduction in work load for more money. Naturally I was pretty keen on the idea.

Sadly, this did not work out. They are looking for some pawn to just sit there and pick up the slack of the other personnel in the department for a number of years, and then maybe move up.

Who knew all I had to do was pretend to be some idiot and would have had a better chance at the position.

My little soccer player is back!!!

2006-06-09T12:53:00.000-07:00

Its come to my attention that Im fat...Im not really your stereotypical fat guy. I am actually twig thin except for little Buddha belly Im growing.

It comes around like the solar eclipse....now Im pretty sure that happens only once in awhile, but if its pretty regularly then ignore that simile.

Anyways, I think I need to do something about this...

J-Mo, need a running buddy?

Hahaha jk...

I blame a few things for this: my diet, weed, my general sense of laziness, beer, etc...it all kinda blends together into a big melting pot of unhealthy nonsense...

oh well...

Kitty

2006-06-07T08:49:00.000-07:00

1)I am allergic

2)I cant take care of her during the day

3)I dont know the first thing about cats, I dont believe they are difficult at all, but still what if it breaks a leg or something (ha inside joke)....

4)I really can't afford to be doing this with the vet bills, food, and what nots...hell cant even feed myself...

But look at how damn cute this cat is!

I might have to take him....Its out of my control now...