Hell no we wont Go!!!

I got summoned to jury duty out of the blue....

As luck would have it Im going to be on vaction the date Im supposed to be present in court. All I had to do was fax the office a copy of my flight and Im off Scott free.




I think I would actually like to go...It could be a really cool case....but then again its Hamilton, so its probably some asshole getting pissed because hes neighbour killed his dog for shitting on his front porch one too many times...

In an unrelated topic I actually watched a movie I liked...




The greatest game ever played....I have not seen a movie lately that made me believe the characters...this one did...

Oddly enough I think Im like a mix of these two guys....




And maybe Johnny Deep in fear and loathing....

Hero of flight 3159

I took a trip on the weekend to see my lovely girl down in the States. It was her birthday yesterday, so I showed up Thursday instead of Friday to surprise her, and to get an extra day down there.




As we had just bought a new company in the Tennessee, Friday was not a good day to be away from work, but whata ya gonna do....ha.




Did some good shopping while I was there....and that was about it. Hahahah.

Love those kind of vacations....

The trip home is where this little story starts. My flight was delayed by 40 minutes, so I sat around and had a beer while I waited. After the beer I headed down to my gate, threw on the Ipod, and zoned out. While I was waiting this cute little kid started entertaining everyone. She was about 2 by my guesses. She was running around the terminal while her mother was doing her best to let the kid wear herself out, but at the same time not piss anyone off. Pretty damn funny I must say...

The plane finally arrives, and the show stops. We all merge onto the plane like the cattle of the industrial world. As I get to my seat the mother and her child are there sitting in it. The plane is small, so it goes one seat, isle, then two more seats. I sort it out with her and the older gentlemen sitting in our row that she will take my seat, and I will sit with this guy so that she may have more space. The flight attendant comes by and informs us that she has to sit in her assigned seat for some dumb reason....so we all switch up again.

At this point the little girl explodes...typical screaming baby on the plane.

The older guy is obviously f'ing pissed...but there isnt much the mother could seem to do.




The second the flight attendant walks by he demands to be moved...turns out there is one other seat available for him to have. He got what he deserved though, when he stood up to move he got up so fast he smashed his head off the overhead compartment.

hahahah asshole...he wasnt f'ing nice about it at all.

I thought to myself I can do one of two things here:

A) put on the Ipod and pretend im not even here....

B) try and entertain this kid so the mother, and everyone else around this little bundle of joy could get some peace and quiet...

I choose B....

The mom had lots of toys to distract the kid, but nothing was working....

How did some random guy, who has never had a kid fix this problem??

1$ sunglasses from eBay....

I played "pee-a-boo" with the little monster, and eventually ended up giving the kid the glasses... the little girl calmed down, and kept herself occupied until she fell asleep..

Turns out she was only 28, and the kid was 18 months...

I apparently was too good with this kid because the mom gave me her email address at the end of the flight to "keep in touch"

hahahaha...

Because the flight was delayed I was late getting home, so I did what I could to get there ASAP...




Passing someone at 150 while they are doing 110 is always funny to me...

Passing someone at 150 while they are doing 140 is not as satisfying at first, but when you catch a chaser it makes the drive much more entertaining...

I found some broad in a supped up Nissan just outside of Fort Erie in the latter senerio.

We climbed up to speeds of 170 as we raced in and out of traffic...things got more interesting when we found a third friend to play with in a Pontiac...

passing someone at 180 while they are doing 110 is beyond funny to me...

haahha I got home from the airport in under and hour.

Perfect trip....thanks love.

Paul Bernardo VS John Belushi

Monday night a few of us drove over to Toronto to see Franz Ferdinand and Death Cab for Cutie. The show was held at the Rico coliseum which was cool because I've never seen a show there.




Franz was exactly what I expected....Basically If you have the CD, don't bother going to the show....so boring live. Hence, me spending most of their performance in the beer gardens.

While I was there I happened to bump into an old friend/ex...




Funny story though, she turned up at my party on Friday night with her boy friend...I was wasted, so I barely remember this guy...

Only, when I saw her at the concert with the guy again out of the blue I said "hello **** nice to see you again"

She leaned in and quietly explained this was not the same guy....

HAHAHAHAha whoops.....my bad.

I made a quick stage exit left, and went back to pounding drinks.




In my mind DC put on a much better show. The stage/mood/energy.... just everything was better with Death Cab....Except that the F'ING fire alarm was going off for three songs...They did a nice job trying to play over it, and even asked the crowd if we wanted them to stop playing until it was fixed...The crowd cheered them on, and a few songs later it was fixed....

Even played the song I wanted to hear in the encore too boot...

Sweet show...would defintely see them again.

Worst Grandson Ever

Sunday is usually the day my family celebrates Easter. This year EVERYONE bailed except for me. I myself was thinking about ducking out of this one because I hadn't had sleep since like Wednesday. I'll write a party post after I get some pics back.

Heres pics instead:













Back to being a bad grandson....




So Sunday afternoon rolls around and Im the only God Damn grandchild to make it to Easter dinner.

Dinner was at 5pm...I showed up at 4:55....hahaha

Had dinner, and within 2 mins of me finishing my plate I was asleep snoring away in the living room. I awoke an hour later confused as hell, collected my shit, and left.

What a F'ing waste of space I was...might as well not even gone.

I suck...

Ps..in looking for a eating/sleeping photo I found this....haha if I didnt know any better Id sware to God thats a pic of my brother as a child...

Sure, Why not....

I hate coincidences...

Yesterday I was informed of the whereabouts of a certain bug in our office. It was also brought to my attention that the person being harassed by this bug was deathly afraid of them...I decided to take this challenge on, and set out to hunt the beast down...

As I neared the creatures newly acquired habit I felt a sudden urge to turn back, for I was not sure what it was capable of...I took a deep breath, steadied my nerves, and carried forward.

The fight was a brutal display of nature. The struggle from this resourceful specimen was astonishing...but in the end I was victorious...In a primal fit of rage I consumed the creature infront of the distraught parties involved. This was done to eliminate any fear that still might reside in the victim of this terrible incident of harassment.




It was a fly...I ate it...sometimes Im still 5...

Today as I entered work I stumbled upon a worm struggling in a puddle outside the front doors. I looked down and thought to myself, poor thing...hes not going to make it. But, then it struck me, I can correct my wrong of yesterdays passed by helping this little guy to live.

So I went back to him, rescued him from certain death, and placed him in the grasslands of freedom...



I gave myself a pat on the back for doing a good deed...even though it was mostly done to correct a wrong I had caused previously. I came to the conclusion that balance had now been restored, and things were equal...

2 mins later someone throws a package of equal sweetener at my head....for no reason....



I took it as a sign that someone had seen my good deed, and downed the sweetener right then and there....

ha...

Tampa Round Two...

I have not been on vacation in roughly two years...I have taken time off to work on my house, small weekend trips, but nothing more.

I had attempted to take a trip to Florida once for a week. My boss booked the same days off, and I was forced to work. I did however end up in Boston as a result of this trip which landed me the most beautiful girl friend in the world. So I guess it worked out. ha.




I have done it again though; booked a flight to Florida before finding out if I am allowed to have these days off. This time around I do not care, I will be taking this trip whether they like it or not.

My good friend from highschool works on this ship...(see Below)




So for $50 bucks I pretend to be her cousin, and I get to go on a 5 day cruise...

To here:




Now everyone these days is one of the following: a couple, busy, has no money, or is insane and I would not like to travel with them. So Im going on this mission solo. Yup just me and all the 85 year olds I can handle.




I am not going to give a flying F....I am going to sit on my ass and do absolutely nothing for 5 days except for eat, drink, suntan, and relax...no cell phones, no emails, no faxes, no stupid accountants, no msn, no nothing...and I am going to love it.

The Adventures of PH1&2 III

This ongoing story went from bad to really shitty very quickly...I actually feared for these two idiots. A criminal record is a criminal record no matter how you look at it...

However, let this post be reminder to you...Its not what you know, its who you know.




You see, several years ago on the day of my very last highschool exam I was asked to do a favor for a friend. Said friend was 18, I was 19...He was heading up to his cottage that weekend and wanted a keg to party with. As I had been a quest to many a bash hosted by this fine young gentlemen, I was more then happy to oblige.

Upon my stealthy return to town without the goods, as the one f'ing store I selected had just been picked clean by a group of raging alcoholics, I got busted by the cops.

110 in a 50...I was late for my exam

The cop shot me a condescending look as he informed me there was no monetary fine associated with this ticket, and that he would see me in court.

Well off to court we went...it was something insane like over a grand in money I think, and the better half of my points. I didn't like this...at all...

So we went back to court a second time....This time....My dad knew the judge.

hahahaahahahahahahahahaha

So it turned out to be like a couple hundred and a small amount of points...




The story of PH1 and PH2 is quite similar....

Someone knew the crown attorney....

It is now only a charitable donation to be made on behave of the pair....

I dont think they speak anymore....So that'll be the end of that hopefully.

Once again...Lucky f'ers...

Veni, Vidi, Vici.

Its a different breed of human being that immerses themselves into the life of a camp counselor....Someone who doesn't mind working the entire summer, only to get a paycheck equivalent to about two weeks worth of work in the real world...Someone who doesn't mind being dressed up/painted/makeuped/what ever the hell else embarrassing you can think of....and then thrown in the lake at the end of it all just to amuse little kids....

I had no real intention of ever becoming such a person, but it was bloody fun...

Its been a few years since I've worked at my beloved camp, but every once in awhile we all get together to party and reminisce about the days of old. When we do its always chaos...We've been referred to as a pack of wild elephants mobalizing the day after parties. There's just something about this group of people...You cant break in unless you worked there...you just cant, people have tried and never figured it out. We are brutal to party with because we're like a big pack of animals that has no time for anyone else but themselves....

Be that as it may....I love party with these guys....Miss them lots...

One guy who doesn't quite make it around to the parties as of late is this guy on the right:




Might not look familiar, but if you saw the Junos....he might....

How did Friday night go with these good folks?

Well...I was hungover from the night before, and when my brother and I missed the liquor store cut off we decided to "borrow" a 26er of whiskey from my parents and head out....




I was so out of it I decided to down a can of red bull, and then make my way into the booze. I had two drinks and ended up blowing chunks all over the front yard. hahaha wasnt even drunk, just couldn't stomach the booze. So I poured another drink and started all over again...




The party was funny, and I had a blast seeing these idiots again....

4am rolls around and everyone has now been permanent markered....I woke up with "Im not going to fight you because you are lucky" on my arm...and some other random shit....I think that was perhaps from this younger guy whos girlfriend was talking to me for a bit at the party...Not too sure...hahaha. Oh well....she was my partner in darts, was I not suppose to talk back???




And last but not least, my brother boggled my mind later on when we saw him walking back to the party after he had just left in a cab....apparently the cab driver was talking badly about me so my brother told her where to go, and got out of the car. ahahah yes buddy....I had stopped the cab by standing in the middle of the street....not the end of the world if you ask me...anyways, later on Davey pulled a me, and decided he was going to be grumpy and pass out cold in the car all night...It was f'ing freezing outside, so I wasn't having any of that...Another friend and I argued with him for a solid 20 mins until he gave up and came inside to a real bed....what a fucker. ahahah...

In the AM...found my shit, smacked Dave, and got the hell out of dodge....

F'n camp people....

G.D.A.B.

Well here's the newest Macnamara (Yes I am one of those people who says shit like that about their pets)....the little ankle bitter she is....

During our brief meeting I managed to witness her piss and crap on the kitchen floor...My poor mom.




Cute as hell though..