Ya I guess I did

So after I looked back at my last two posts I noticed something. Im f'ing losing it...and quickly.

Out of the blue I decided to stop smoking the sweet sweet leaf a few weeks ago. My body has not been without this for.....F....I don't even know how long.

I think Im having withdrawal or something. Im all over the map.



One minute Im like this is a good idea....only positive things will come from this....the next Im bouncing off the walls.

Ex: I could look at this ridiculous idiot (see above) and laugh my ass off for a variety of reasons.....Or....I could suggest she take the stupid block of wood and stick it where the sun don't shine.

Happy Hump day..

Does not do it justice

Driving to work today I witnessed a sunrise the likes of which I have never seen in my life....

I think I actually started talking to myself...

"Holy F bombs, is that real?"

"How are there not people crashing right now?"

I look at the cars all around me to see if anyone else is taking notice of this...They are not.

"What the hell is wrong with you people?"

"SH!T!!, wheres my stupid phone"

Left the phone at home today by accident so I couldnt even share the moment if I wanted to. So perhaps this was just for me....something only I needed to see.

I will try and explain, but these fruitless words will never paint the right picture.

The sun was just starting to peak out from the horizon, slightly muffled in a haze of light clouds. It was an orange not all that unique, like any normal sunrise you might see overlooking the lovely glow of Hamilton. However, what caught my eye was a beam of light the width of the sun shooting straight up towards the sky. I have no explanation as to why this might have happened...I've never seen anything like it in my entire life.

So ya, whom ever would like to take credit for that....I thank you.

Coming home.

Don't Drive Angry Now!!

Peace and serenity at 170...

Ever have one of those days where you find you bounce from being in the burning pits of absolute hell to the green meadows and lazy rivers of heaven?

I have those days sometimes......

Had one a few weeks ago infact. It was probably something at work that set me off....Usually is...I had been in a mental mind battle all day until I found myself in my car on a Thursday night for no good reason at all.

The amount of raw emotion that gets released in these crazy bits of insanity is enough to drive a man mad Im sure...feels like I am sometimes...

However, there comes a point where there is no good....no bad....there is something different....something overwhelming....it negates both sides and forms something new.

Where is this found? Well I find it in my car sometimes.



As I cruise along the highway in a light snowfall my car weaves from lane to lane lazily..Slightly shuddering as it moves its way through the snow built up between the lanes. There are cars behind me, beside me, in front of me...they dont seem real...the only thing that matters is the feeling that overcomes...my foot becomes heavy and uses the pedal as support for my body...the speedometer climbs...but there is no dangerous level to be reached, it just climbs and climbs and doesn't really matter..the cars are coming faster now, the lane changes are more frequent...and the feeling of complete and absolute calm has now taken over....my car now becomes a speeding bullet but is as harmful as a pillow as I float through the traffic like the snowflakes that fall all around.......the song changes, the mood snaps...and the world returns...

How do I know Im not myself?

Under Attack

It has been brought to my attention that I might be somewhat of a Mamma's boy...I have always taken some moderate flak for this but never really thought about it seriously until now.

Now let me start off by saying I have an amazing mother. Jesus Christ, the shit that woman puts up with is unbelievable. I have thought about posting some stories of old that might shed some light on this....Like the time I got alcohol poisoning, or the time I...I'll just stop....But for now, just know she's got a huge heart and has spent her life taking care of my siblings and I.

With that being said, there are some fundamental things I just don't do very well.

1) Cook....

2) Clean....

3) And everything in between....

Now that Im living on my own my general health and well being have definitely taken a turn for the worse. But its not like I'm dying or anything....I'm just really lazy about that sort of thing and unless someone is taking care of that crap it just doesn't get done very well.

So here I am treading water until some "lucky lady" scoops me up and does all of this for me??? Right??? This will happen right??? hahahah

Anyways, last night there's a few people over trying to fix my stupid @#$@%#@% computer. While they were over someone decided to take advantage of my lovely new washer and dryer. No problem. They are hooking me up, let me correct that, trying to hook me up...So of course Im happy to provide what I can. After like 2 hours of trying to dry one bloody load of laundry we notice that this stuff is not getting any dryer.

Here is where it all comes together.....The clothes were getting no dryer because the f'ing lint trap was so full the thing was about to croak. I mean we basically found a whole shirt in my lint trap. Did I ever check this at home? God no. Did I even know where it was? Hell no. I've done my own laundry for 10 years plus....But never ever once emptied that thing.

Hahahaah....was I spoiled......yes.....yes I was.....

Oh well....

Marry me?

Its about that time of year....

So...Its cold out now....

The desire to go out and enjoy what your surroundings have to offer has been brought to a grinding halt. Yes, there is still things to do when the temperature drops below -47, but these get really old....really fast.....The moment my body starts shaking like a leaf when I walk out my front door is the moment I trade my lemonade for a liquid cocaine.


The drinking months have now begun my friends. How do I know this? Well lets see Ive drank everyday since last tuesday. Today is Monday...Wanna know what Im doing tonight?

Hahahhahaha

Thanks, but no thanks...

I love my job. Everyday I come into work I thank my lucky stars for getting the opportunity to be employed here. Im not sure if its the rock, or the hard place that I love more. See, Im a buyer. So half of my little world demands structure, procedures, and most important everything must be free. The other half of my world can be summed up by this statement "I want it here now, and I don't fucking care how it gets here" Im like the red headed stepchild of a retarded bi-polar couple.

That being said....I've been looking for a new job. Same field, just a different company to see if this is how this job functions in the real world.

I had an interview last week. I'll say the last part first. I ended up going home afterwards to drink the better half of a case of beer.

The website looked great, and turns out they are operating in 14 different countries with plans to expand. Looks good to me. The building is new, well maintained, and close to my house. I take a deep breath and go in for my interview.

The inside is amazing, plants everywhere, people seem to actually be smiling, everyone looks normal. Can this be? Do offices really look like this? Mine sure doesn't...

I meet my contact, she seems very nice and we begin. She's my age and you could tell she had not been in the position long. I smoked the interview. I was pulling relevant stories out of my ass, and it was perfect. I thought to myself, wow, this is too easy...There's got to be something wrong...and there was. After about 30 minutes she asks me if I have any questions. I do. Just one I say....

Me- "What is the salary range you guys are offering for this position?"

Jenn- "We were thinking around (read 10k less then what I make now)"

Me- "Well, thank you for your time, it was nice to meet you, but I am looking for something a little different".

End of interview....