Check

So I headed over to my local Royal Lepage office the other day to put an offer in on a house. Not a mansion, not a dump, just something Id like to call my home. Kinda hit me that this is one of the last major milestones left to accomplish for someone my age....or there abouts. (turned 25 on the 18th)

Enjoy childhood: Check

 

 
Survive highschool: Check

 
Spend four years in a drug induced haze of insanity, only to get handed a piece of paper at the end telling me I am now an educated man: Check

 

 


 

Buy that car you've always wanted: Check

 
Do some travelling to "find" yourself: Check



Find an entry level, idiot job, in cubical land pertaining to area of study in school: Check

 

Somehow stab your boss in the back and get his job: Check

 
Buy a real car and crash it a few times: Check

 

Move the F out of your parents house: ...Working on it

So ya....guess Im doing ok for not paying attention to..well..pretty much everything.

How does this happen?

Wakeup

And we all know what happened to the dishwasher

I hate my computer....

Im not too sure how it feels about me, but I certainly have an uncontrollable desire to toss her out the window. We use to get along famously. I would download all the newest anti-virus software to ensure she was kept safe. If it was late I'd make sure she was turned off so as to not burn her out during the night. She in return would do everything I asked of her. IT was perfect...

Then somewhere along the line it all went to hell. I started slacking off in my updates and defragment sessions. Oh how I cherished those defragments...Im not sure if it was the instant pleasure it gave my baby, or the mutual understanding it brought us to. Back to the point: around the same time of my lackadaisical behavior she started slowing down, randomly deleting things, and generally displaying errors like they were going out of style.

Now I tried to do the right thing here....It may have been my mistake first that started this downward spiral, so I had no qualms about trying to sort this maturely. I got all the new updates, defraged her, gutted my C drive to free up space, and even got an anti-spyware program (which found 42 big time leeches).

Did this help? F no.

The stupid whore slowed down even more. By the time Im done typing my thought the cursor is still chugging through the line above.

So that's it...we're through. I can't do this anymore. It hurts too much...


Goodbye...

Feeling High and Mighty?

Get off your high horse you monumental sea captain who loves to hail mary beavers

Badminton

Tiiiiimmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeee is on my hands, yes it is....

Where is Bryan?

Went to the Ryan Adams concert last night in Toronto at the Koolhouse. This seemed like an odd choice of venue, but given the large number of people there it was ok.

Bumped into some old friends from Western that I hadn't seen in awhile. Always nice to play the "catch-up" game. I guess I shouldn't be surprised to see a bunch of decent folk from back in the day at a show such as this.

I went into the show with no expectations. I think this served me well as everyone else was expecting to hear this song, or that song...and when they didn't get played it was somewhat of a let down for them. I enjoyed the performance though. There was one perfect moment where everyone stopped moving, crowded in close, and shut up. Well I use that term loosely, as there was a couple shout-outs for Cuts Like a Knife. This all happened during his version of Wonderwall in the encore. Sure, not his song blah blah blah. Still an amazing piece of music that he made into his own.

I think the highlight of the show was a moment of grandeur. A few of us were outside during the scheduled intermission when I spotted this odd looking guy.

"HHhhhheyyyy, wait a second...Isn't that? oh god what's his name, F that, what band is he from??? You know, they suck, super crappy song about California or something"

Hahaa. Turns out its the guitarist guy from Wave. Now if you don't know who they are do not concern yourself. They suck. We proceeded to have a good chuckle over this when we figured it out. Im pretty sure one of his friends overheard us and regurgitated our comments to him.


What was funny about all of this was that later on in the show I look down beside me (which is unusual as Im not a tall guy) and there's this little strange fellow again standing right next to me...Solo. Im rocking out with PornField at this point when he decides to take a spin around the bar. So its just the two of us in a large open area standing like 2 feet from each other. This guy is either A) pissed that we were talking shit and is planning his imminent attack B) knows we recognized him and is just looking for some attention C) Gay and wants my sweet ass.

Hahaha either way I felt tall...

Cool show and would recommend checking him out.

Glazed to hell

"Oh hold on a second...what do we have here?"

"Humm ride program, I better let you go. I'll talk to you in a bit"

So its Thursday night and Im coming home after celebrating a friends promotion. Nothing crazy, just over to a local pub to enjoy some of the finer things in life...like carbombs.

Anyways, The night had been stretched over a few hours so the alcohol was not my concern. What was on the forefront of my mind was the pocket full of grandma's glaucoma medication. I hadn't even really thought about trying to stash that somewhere until the nice officer pointed out my eyes were "glazed to hell". hahaha.

The guy took one look at me and decided I was worth pulling over. So out of the car I get, ready to prove to this idiot I wasn't drunk. A slight twist came when he insisted I wait in the back of the cop car while he prepared the breathalizer. He assured me I was not being arrested with an over-the-top level of sincerity. It was as if he was leading the sheep to slaughter and was relishing the moment. What a maroon.



Never actually been in the back seat of the old black and white myself. Gotta tell ya though, with a handful of greens resting against my heart, and a beer or two in me, I wasn't feeling on top of the world at that precise moment in my life.

Nevertheless, Im released from my temporary prison to provide my evidence to the court. First time I don't exhale fast enough, second time I exhale too quickly. This pisses both me and the cop off as Im now informed a third mistake will be considered "failure to provide an adequate sample". Translation = screwed.

Finally give the bastard a proper sample....I blow way under and am more then happy to be on my merrier way.

"Told ya I wasn't drunk dumbass"

HaHa..