Humm Probably going to regret this one someday...

Welcome to the wild wonderful world of drugs!! Saaaweet JESUS drugs are fun; I’m not going to lie to you. Hahahahhaahhaahhaahhaahah. I could sit here and laugh for weeks thinking about all the experiences I've had while on some sort of drug. Before you read on, I’ve got a strong taste for the booze and Mary Jane is my one true love. Haahah. The other tangents of this seedy world are saved for random occasions...so I don’t think I'm too far off the norm in regards to consumption here. Except maybe for my love of the first two. Some people will tell you that drugs are just a cheap way to lose reality, or it’s a way for someone to change what is really going on around them. (if you’ve been reading these posts you’ve probably noticed this is not the first time I’ve mentioned the alteration of reality….I either have a serious problem with it, or just generally don’t live in it haha) Anyways, GROW UP YOU PUSSY, AND GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS!!! Its great to choose not to do drugs, but you are not perfect for never taking a hit off a joint. You are also not a better person because you can say you’ve never puked your guts out after a night of drinking that left you with half your clothes on in a town you don’t remember going to. Life is jam packed with a zillion million gazillion experiences, each and everyone is slightly different then the one before. So, to block off the opportunity to see some of these experiences is just ludicrous! These shenanigans cannot go on forever, so I think the best thing to do is to try everything while you still can. This pretty much becomes unrealistic the moment junior shows up. Christ that’ll be a funny day.

Im sorry, I should have mentioned this before, there is a limit. Wow, wow, wow….easy there, I know I sound like a hypocrite on this one. I’ll get into the reason why there’s a limit later, he’s called GOD! His name could be Jesus, Buddha, Ala, or whatever it is you feel put us here. I personally dont believe in any of the above, but there is something out there that I pay my respects to. The limit I set is that every morning you have to wake up knowing you’ve harmed no one else, and you have the ability to honestly say you’re a good person. Yes, I’ve woken up not remembering a thing only to have my best friend phone me up and tell me what an asshole I am. I am far from perfect…back to the drugs. I’m not to sure if I would be satisfied knowing I’ve gone throw life without watching my friend roller blade down a huge half-pipe with a crowd screaming his name. Of course this whole image was seen after smoking a bubbler under a bridge in London. Or that I didn’t cruise threw a party peaking off a rail talking a million miles a minute about complete nonsense to anyone and everyone. Drugs can make you see and feel things on a different level then a state of soberness allows…. I’m sorry; it’s just the way it is. I could go into the time me and my friend drank a 26er of whiskey and went tobogganing down the road of a ski resort. We both saw a snow monster emerge from a cloud of man-made snow and roar at us…. you’ve never seen two kids gt so fast. Would we have seen the same thing if not in this “highly enlightened” frame of mind, who’s to say? It’s almost like apples and oranges here folks. Ever tried skiing after eating a few grams of mushrooms? Up becomes down, left becomes right and after you’ve just f’ing plowed yourself into a tree the only thing you can do is laugh your ass off. This is only funny if all your limbs are still working.(limit thing)

If I can recommend experimenting with one drug it would be ecstasy. This one is ridiculous. I get nervous as hell every time I do it. Why? I have no idea. I’m not the type to worry about whether or not this stuff was made down the street in a bathtub by two pre-school dropouts. I think I just get so giddy that I work myself into a panic. Probably one of the best feelings had to be seeing my girlfriend run to my side outside a bar while we were both on e. She hopped and skipped along like she was the happiest girl in the entire world. I grabbed hold of her and lets just say I could have died a happy man at that moment. I think part of me did. There are other things that feel incredible on E, but we wont go there.

The major fall back of drugs and alcohol is that they can suck you in. Some people come to place where they see the need to feel things like this all the time, but don’t want to bother getting the feeling the o-natural way. Why bother creating, searching and exploring when I can just drink a bottle of tequila and conjure up my own universe. As I said before the two states of mind are not really comparable, but to constantly be in the altered is not healthy for a variety of reasons. Now that is where the problem comes in, and half the people with this problem don’t really know they have it. There is a thin line on that subject, so be careful where you stand. Is drinking a glass of wine with dinner a problem? How about two glasses? How about 7 pints, a few glasses of wine and half a dozen shots? If you cross that line your life will not end (unless you tell some 7 foot jacked dude to go fuck himself, I honestly don’t know how I haven’t been murdered yet), but the sooner you fix the situation the better off you’ll be. Trust me. So if that’s where you are, do yourself favor and realize you can see and feel these things without drugs and alcohol. To sum up “drugs”, try them, you may like them, just be careful.

Ps…Johnny likes the skinny girls, but he’s never been one to turn down a phatty….ha, and im pretty sure I wont have my own liver when I’m 35. But gawd damn its fun.

I had a whole collection of pictures lined up for this one, but I think for all the parties involved it was better left up to the imagination of the reader. I've never actually done drugs in my entire life, this was just written as fiction for my loyal readers to enjoy. (Just in case someone tries to arrest my ass in like 10 years)

Maybe I'll be more mature tomorrow

Hello, I'm John...

You might know me from past Micro-relationship disasters such as: Its not you...its me...ps I'm going to Australia peace, Try the other one, I'll see ya when I see ya (not even remotely a relationship but DAMN funny), and I'm sorry you ruined your life for me.

Yes these were all a bunch of lovely learning experiences. Each with its own unique way of crashing and burning. Sometimes my fault, sometimes not. Basically all depended on who said they cared first...If it was them? I could be found running as fast as possible in the opposite direction. If it was me? Well I spent some serious time kicking dead animals. I guess they just weren't meant to be and that "one" will come along someday. But before that happens who could forget these: Hey thanks for the panic attacks, I got a grrreat idea...lets be fool around friends, here's all my marbles...I wont be needing these anymore(never recovered from that one), and my personal old time favorite: SORRY IM NOT JESUS. ahhaah. Thank god no one reads this, and even ya did you know its jokes anyways. Porn and Dub you should get most of these.

Point is relationships are fecked....And this hallmark creation of a day does not help anything. Nice little segue into my next bit of gibberish.. 

This day can do one of three things, A) be really awesome cause your spending it with someone you actually care about, B) bum you out cause you just don't have anyone, or C) just seem like every other day cause your not caught up in all this BS..

Last year this devilishly fun girl flew from bloody Norway to see me on Valentines day. Pencil one into the positive column for this day. Rewind 365 days and I awoke to this for some nice breakfast reading material. This was the front page of our schools newspaper. We had just split a few weeks before and I was still in the "why in the world did I break up with this girl phase" Needless to say this was not a positive Valentines day for me. Which brings us to the third option for this day...Option C. Neutral Grey is my new word for it. This day is just like any other and doesn't really mean squat...Smoke em if ya gotem, and if ya ant gotem well....everybody Wang Chung tonight!!
 

Dear Mr.Minivan

You had this coming...

I can understand that you probably didn't marry the girl you wanted, you don't like the job you have, and your children have become a ball and chain. Maybe you didn't party enough in university because you were a huge nerd and now your chalked full of regrets? Maybe you see people pass you by on the road and have no choice but too compare them to your youth on the road of life. There are a hundred different reasons I'm sure for as to why you decided to cram the biggest engine you possibly could into your minivan. Honey we're getting the SPORTS edition!!!

Whatever the reason...I was just wondering what goes on in your head at 8am when your gunning down the road on the way to your shitty job? When you see a car full of young adults, or even teenagers, what prompts the need to get those little bastards? Driving super fast past their car will not impress the ladies...your 43.

Anyways, to the moron that decided to race me today on the way to work: I'm sorry your you.

Oh ya, and eat my tailpipe.....I'm still young and dumb and allowed to do shit like this.

Ya that sounds about right...

Damn

Why? Why not?

Theres got to be something said about the personality type that climbs to the top of the tallest thing he can find only to throw himself off it.

Scene: skip day some summer afternoon for a school I didn't even go to. First guy simply jumps off.....good for you. Second guy does a cannonball, hope you clenched your asshole tight. Then Jon steps up and throws down a perfect slow motion 360 gainer off this. Just sick....



 

I forget what you were doing Cdub, rodeo flip? Either way one of my dopest pictures... 

Not to sure if you can see, but this is like concrete height. Defintely cup the balls. 

This one almost didnt turn out so good... 

Pic-o-the day

I spend too much time writing down stuff that is not "Blog" worthy to be able to write cool things in here. So instead it'll just be a picture here and there. Recently addicted to photography....I blame you Pornfeild.

This was that day. The day you were totally and completely satisfied with yourself for creating the ultimate funnel...It could hold enough beer to make a football player sick, combined with a perfectly functioning on/off value to allow the precise amount of delicious brew out. Yes this was the day you graduated from highschool. The day you lost the motor skills in your lower limbs from an experiment with mushrooms. This was a good day in history ladies and gents...